For Bobby

[rrich]

What is green and pecks at trees?

Woody Wood Pickle.

[aldav]

He is depressed because of the lack of jokes being posted, I'm not sure that pushing him closer to the edge by posting jokes of this standard is the correct response to his problem.
Besides the Thanks/Like options don't include a 'Groan'.

[verawood]

You want Groaners; here's some Groaners.

The only exercise I have done this month ... is running out of money.

•••

Me at the gym: What does this machine do?
Instructor: Sir, that's a bench.
Me: Perfect.

•••

I phoned the local gym and asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. The guy on the line asked, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."

•••

I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me: "Come on, man, you've got to want it! Come on, push! You can do it!"

I just hate being disturbed when I'm on the toilet.

•••

I thought a spin cycle class was about laundry.

•••

“Ugh, who has time to work out?” I say before a 45 minute nap.

[Tomislav]

Needs a Toilet Emoji..