An Irishman goes to the doctor, who after examining him says


“You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay.


“So the doctor gives the man the tablets and the patient asks,


“Do I have to take them every day?”


No,” replies the doctor, “take one on the Monday, skip the Tuesday, take one on the Wednesday, skip the Thursday and go on like that.


“Two weeks later the doctor is walking down the street, and he sees the patient’s wife.“Hello Mrs Murphy,” he says, “how’s your husband?”


“Oh he died of a heart attack,” says Mrs Murphy.


“I’m very sorry to hear that,” says the doctor, “I thought if he took those tablets he would be all right.”


“Oh the tablets were fine,” says Mrs Murphy,


“It was all the bloody skipping that killed him!”


…………..


Old man Murphy and old man Sean were contemplating life when Murphy asked, “If you had to get one or the other would you rather get Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s?


”Sure, I rather have Parkinson’s”, replied Sean


“’Tis better to spill a couple of ounces of Jameson whiskey than to forget where you keep the bottle!”