Don't do it....

[bennylaird]

Newlyweds
A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very
much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old
buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."


"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.


"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."


The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the
refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.


The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could
think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... you know...
they have frozen glasses... "


He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him
by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer
mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just
holding it.


The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the
bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't
be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"


"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took
out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in
blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.


"But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know ..there's swearing, &
dirty words and all that..."


"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?... LISTEN UP DICKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT
THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR
FRICKING HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS AIN'T GOING TO A
FRICKING BAR! THAT **** IS OVER...GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"


....and, they lived happily ever after.
Isn't that a sweet story?

[Dendot]

Another couple had just got married and were on their honeymoon. When they were undressing ready for bed, he threw over his trousers to her and said, "Here. Put these on."
She tried but they were much too big.
"I can't wear these." she said.
"Right" he said, "just remember who wears the trousers in this marriage!"
She looked thoughtful but said nothing.
A little while later, she took off her knickers and threw them over to him.
"Here" she said, "Put these on."
He tried and tried, then said "I can't get into these"
"No" she said, "And you're not going to until you change your attitude a bit, mate!"

[doug the slug]

....and, they lived happily ever after.
Isn't that a sweet story?

No benny, SHE lived happily ever after cos HE didnt have a backbone and caved in right at the start of the marriage, and in the process lost all respect from HER, cos thats just one little test in a long line that women do on men