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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    SW Sydney
    Age
    75
    Posts
    12
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    Default Evening Classes for Men

    OPEN TO MEN ONLY - ALL ARE WELCOME

    Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each
    class will accept a maximum of eight participants. The
    classes cover two days, and topics covered include:

    DAY ONE

    HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
    Step-by-step guide with slide presentation

    TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
    Round table discussion

    DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
    Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

    DISHES & SILVERWARE - DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR
    DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
    Debate among a panel of experts.

    REMOTE CONTROL
    Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups

    LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
    Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning
    the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

    DAY TWO

    EMPTY MILK CARTONS - DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
    Group discussion and role play

    HEALTH WATCH - BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
    PowerPoint presentation

    REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
    Real life testimonial from the one man who did

    IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
    Driving simulation

    LIVING WITH ADULTS - BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR SPOUSE
    Online class and role playing

    HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
    Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

    REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
    Bring your calendar or smart phone to class

    GETTING OVER IT
    Learning how to live with being wrong all the time,
    Androgens Order
    Forgive your enemies, but never, ever forget their names.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but never forget.

  2. #2
    rrich Guest

    Default

    Unfortunately it is the last one that I can't deal with.

    What difference does it make if you scoop butter out of the center of the container vs. along the sides?

    Card table chairs only unfold one way.

    That is the way that your 'To Go' was packed. Yes the pizza box is empty. The pizza box keeps the heat off of the seats in the truck.

    Your car needed gas. I can not control the price of gas. You're welcome.

    Yes, what's his name is gay. There's nothing that I can do about that.

  3. Likes KBs PensNmore liked this post
  4. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    se Melbourne
    Age
    63
    Posts
    189
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    HEALTH WATCH - BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
    PowerPoint presentation

    Not sure about this one. What if she has an allergic reaction? What if you suffer from hayfever? What if she is still upset from last night?
    My better half as told me not to bring her flowers any more. Help!

  5. #4
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Not far enough away from Melbourne
    Posts
    1,384
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rodgera View Post
    HEALTH WATCH - BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
    PowerPoint presentation
    Not long after I got married, I was driving home from work and saw a flower seller on the side of the road. I stopped and bought a nice large bunch of flowers for my newly-wed bride as a little romantic gesture.

    On arriving home I walked in with the flowers behind my back and then pulled them out and said "surprise" hoping she would be happy that I had thought of her.

    Instead she got an angry look on her face and snarled at me " What the %#*& have you done?"

    "What do you mean?" I asked.

    "Men only buy flowers for their wives if they have done something wrong. What did you do? Who was she?"

    I copped a full-on argument and abuse for days.

    The next bunch of flowers I bought for her was 15 years later and I put them on top of her coffin. She didn't say anything that time.
    I got sick of sitting around doing nothing - so I took up meditation.

  6. #5
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Murray Bridge SA
    Posts
    293
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    Default

    Sorry to hear of your loss..
    To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    1,174
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Some classes I am informed that I should attend are;

    How to pick up a bath mat.
    How to sort clothing by colour before washing.
    How to hang unmentionables on the washing line.
    This one is very particular and relates to the reusable straws SWMBO uses to imbibe her diet shakes and their location in the dishwasher.
    Apparently I need to understand the difference between the knife drawer and the cutlery basket.

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Sunbury, Vic
    Age
    85
    Posts
    632
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    You have forgotten

    How to fold a fitted sheet after it has been washed.
    Tom

    "It's good enough" is low aim

  9. Likes BobL liked this post
  10. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    ACT
    Age
    85
    Posts
    546
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Hi,
    I do not know why this thread gives one the feeling one is not alone.
    Regards
    Hugh

    Enough is enough, more than enough is too much.

  11. Likes rwbuild liked this post
  12. #9
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Albury
    Posts
    279
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chesand View Post
    You have forgotten

    How to fold a fitted sheet after it has been washed.

    Otherwise known as 'mission impossible'. We owned motels for 15 years and I've folded a lot of sheets, but I've never come to terms with those @#$%^&* things!

  13. Likes N/A liked this post
  14. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Central Coast NSW Australia
    Posts
    202
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rodgera View Post

    GETTING OVER IT
    Learning how to live with being wrong all the time,
    If a man says something in a forest and his wife doesn’t hear - Is he still wrong ???
    Learning to make big bits of wood smaller......

  15. Likes BobL liked this post
  16. #11
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Not far enough away from Melbourne
    Posts
    1,384
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Then there's the good old:

    "You left the toilet seat up again"

    "Ok, I get that you want it down. I want it up. When you put it down you are working with gravity, when I have to put it up I am fighting gravity. Whichever way it is left you get it easier than I do so get over it."
    I got sick of sitting around doing nothing - so I took up meditation.

  17. Likes KBs PensNmore liked this post
  18. #12
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Gold Coast
    Age
    71
    Posts
    456
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by doug3030 View Post
    "You left the toilet seat up again"
    I'm not OCD but I've noticed across a number of female visitors, this apparently only applies to the ring portion and not the lid.
    Franklin

  19. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    SW Sydney
    Age
    75
    Posts
    12
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by doug3030 View Post
    Then there's the good old:

    "You left the toilet seat up again"
    I cured that one. I use the sink!
    Androgens Order
    Forgive your enemies, but never, ever forget their names.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but never forget.

  20. Likes pker, Allan at Wallan liked this post
  21. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Mornington Peninsula
    Posts
    408
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Twisted Tenon View Post
    If a man says something in a forest and his wife doesn’t hear - Is he still wrong ???
    Yes

  22. #15
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Albury
    Posts
    279
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    Default

    Luckily there's enough material in the original course outline to placate the lady members on here. However, if they decide that they've had enough you blokes better watch your backs at any future get togethers or tool sales.

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