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Thread: Some Silly Stuff
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12th June 2017, 03:17 PM #1GOLD MEMBER
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Some Silly Stuff
Six great confusions still unresolved:
1. At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?
2. In the word scent, is "S" silent or "C"?
3. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?
4. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?
5. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?
6. If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be...congress?
Vagaries of English Language!
- Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?
-Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?
- How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?
- If money doesn't grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?
- If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?
- How do you get off a non-stop Flight?
- Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?
- Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?
- Why do doctors 'practice' medicine? Are they just practicing at the expense of the patients?
- How come Noses run and Feet smell?
- Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?
- What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?
We can never find the answers, can we?
So just enjoy the pun and fun of the English language!!To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
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12th June 2017, 03:23 PM #2GOLD MEMBER
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Points to ponder
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
– John Glenn
When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes.
When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.
– Desmond Tutu
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.
– David Letterman
After the game, the King and the Pawn go into the same box.
– Italian proverb
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
– Prince Philip
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.
– Harrison Ford
If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the Impersonators would be dead.
– Johnny Carson
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.
– George Roberts
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
– Robert Benchley
And the best one of all:
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.
– W.H. Auden
To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
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12th June 2017, 05:25 PM #3
As a fireman I look after the fire and make sure it burns!
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13th June 2017, 02:31 AM #4
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13th June 2017, 10:05 PM #5GOLD MEMBER
- Join Date
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- Location
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No wonder migrants have trouble comprehending the English language, words with same sounds, different spelling, similar spelling, different sounds.
No wonder I failed English at school.To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
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14th June 2017, 01:55 PM #6
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14th June 2017, 07:11 PM #7
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14th June 2017, 08:33 PM #8
I think a TV was a set of valves
regards
Nick
veni, vidi, tornavi
Without wood it's just ...
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15th June 2017, 02:27 AM #9
Not forgetting the oldy
Wanted a sign reading Crown and Anchor.
Sign writer made a mistake I wanted a dot between Crown and and and and and Anchor. You brainy blokes can put the commas in.I tried to be normal once.
Worst 2 minutes of my life.
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15th June 2017, 02:44 AM #10
no comma required
regards from Alberta, Canada
ian
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15th June 2017, 08:42 AM #11
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15th June 2017, 10:06 AM #12
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15th June 2017, 10:26 AM #13
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15th June 2017, 10:59 AM #14
An and short????? That's andy
I tried to be normal once.
Worst 2 minutes of my life.
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