When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet...

I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

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Employee: "Sir, what is the secret of your success?"
Manager: "Two words."

Employee: "And, Sir, what are they?"
Manager: "Right decisions."

Employee: "And how do you make right decisions?"
Manager: "One word."

Employee: "And, What is that?"
Manager: "Experience."

Employee: "And how do you get Experience?"
Manager: "Two words."

Employee: "And, Sir, what are they?"
Manager: "Wrong decisions."
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An elderly lady and an orthopedic surgeon were travelling in an elevator together.
The doors started to shut as the lady was trying to get out of the doors.
The surgeon kindly put his head in between the doors so the lady could get out.

"Thank you very much," said the lady, "but why did you use your head?"

"I used my head because I need my hands for work," said the surgeon, grinning proudly.
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An engineer was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop.
He went to him and said, "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired them and put
them back, so why do I get such a small salary and you get huge sums?"

The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said, "Try the same when the engine is running."

The engineer smiled back came close to doctors ear and said, "I can take any dead engine and make it alive again, can you?"

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