PAUL: Does your mother-in-law always make a well-balanced meal?
SAUL: Yes, there's a 50-50 survival rate.



The wheel of my grocery cart was making a horrible scraping sound as I rolled it through the supermarket.
Nevertheless, when I finished my shopping and saw a cartless woman, I offered it up, explaining, "It makes an awful noise, but it works."
"That's okay," she said, taking it. "I have a husband at home like that."