Aminal welfare is alive and well

[Eastie]

On the way home from picking up my brothers kids from school a large rabbit ran out in front of us. I hit it with a glancing blow of the passenger side wheel (ten points). I would have carried on but for the fact that one of the older, tree-hugging kids noticed and implored me to stop to see if the thing was OK and, reluctantly I did. I pulled over walked back to the barely alive and bloody mess that once was poor Thumper.

As I was about to pick it up and despatch it with a flick of the wrist another car pulled up. Out got a bloke dressed in overalls half covered in manure who asked me if he could lend a hand. I informed him of what happened to which he offered to tend aid since he was a vet returning to his practice from a call. I passed the buck (terrible pun I know) and after a brief examination the vet got his bag from the car, took out a syringe and injected the rabbit with it. After only a few minutes the animal shook itself, got to its hindquarters, looked around for a few moments and then took off.

I spoke too the vet for a minute, thanked him and got back in the car to continue home. The kids were ecstatic that the rabbit had been saved and as usual the in-depth questioning began. “What did it feel like?” “Was it in pain?” “Who was the other man?” “Will you have to pay?” etc etc until the tree hugger, himself now interested in becoming some form of animal protector came out of his thoughts. “Gosh that vet must have injected the rabbit with adrenalin or some really strong steroid based drug for the effect to be so dramatic and instant.”

Smiling to myself I could hold back no longer and informed the brat that it was none of those. “It must have been” he insisted “I study chemistry so I know it just had to be!”.

“Nope” said I, ”it was in fact hare restorer”

[DPB]

Eastie, you are truely a very sick man!

[Eastie]

Why thankyou

A similar story - must have been the same vet and the same hare restorer too - but something slightly different happened.

As the hare ran away across the fields, it kept turning around and giving a cheery little wave ... run a bit, turn and wave, run a bit, turn and wave.

The vet said it was hare restorer with added permanent wave.

[Eastie]

Warning - another rabbit joke:

One sunny Autumn afternoon, Mrs Rabbit was returning to the burrow. She decided to take a short cut across a wheat field, failing to notice that the farmer had just fired up the new combine harvester. Mind in neutral, Mrs Rabbit continued across the field until, inevitably, she met the combine harvester coming the other way. Within seconds she had been scooped up, suffered the indignities normally only experienced by wheat and spat out of the back of the machine. After a struggle she managed to extricate herself from the trailer and staggered off home. Mr Rabbit was stunned when Mrs R. fell into the burrow dishevelled, bruised and bleeding.

"What happened to you" he squeaked. For a moment there was no reply. Then, in a voice barely above a whisper she squeaked, "I've been reaped!"

[Eastie]

Did you here about the magician who couldn’t pull a rabbit out of his hat ? Instead he pulled a hair out of his @ss.

[Eastie]

A woman walks into a vet's waiting room. She's dragging a wet rabbit on a leash.

"Sit, ralph," she says. Ralph glares at her, and sopping wet, jumps up on another customer's lap, getting water all over him.

"I said SIT Ralph," says the woman, slightly embarrassed. Ralph, wet already, squats in the middle of the room and pees.

The woman, mortally embarrassed, shouts, "RALPH ! WILL YOU BE GOOD?!"

Ralph then starts a fight with a Doberman and pursues it out of the office.

As the woman leaves to go after it, she turns to the rest of the flabbergasted customers and says: "Pardon me, I've just washed my hare, and I can't do a thing with it!"