Contingency

[Rodgera]

An indigent client who had been injured in an accident went looking
for a lawyer to represent him without cost. One lawyer told him that
he would take the case on contingency.

When the client asked what "contingency" meant, the lawyer replied,
"If I don't win your lawsuit, I don't get anything. If I do win your
lawsuit, you don't get anything."

[Tonyz]

true story,
in a previous life I worked in a average furniture factory on wild belt sander, one day having caught up and both boss & foreman away (bad sign 1) the concercus was to do something on edge bander... end result 1st knuckle on little finger & two knuckles on pointer finger missing, dont ask how.

After fighting workcover to get back to work doing something and occupational therapy )sic?) and physio 3 hours a week and their constant refusal, they finally offered a payout that I spat in refusal mainly due to their stuffing around, then opps lawyers bugga they are expensive.

I have fought unions all my life, my reason 'if I have to use a union to arrange my work conditions because the boss/owner wont co-operate then its not worth staying there" I finally got back to work, the owner refused to talk with me knowing he had broken so many safety rules the business was on short borrowed time.

Anyway one day union rep walks in and a light went on in my head....
'You have a lawyer in the union?'
' Of course'
'What does he cost?'
' If your a member nothing....smug reply'
'shoit how much are union fees?'
' $90 a year'
'shoit sign me up and arrange a meeting'

3 weeks later we go into arbitration and Iam seeking an extra $15K that the lawyer scoffed at...never get that sunshine'

So I duly get before the judge state my case, cant tie shoe laces, cant play the trunpet...never have,.. wasnt questioned,9 most use the panio) dont enjoy resturants cause I cant cut my own meat, finally cant pick my nose.

Poor judge fell off hos chair laughing at that one and awarded me $12k extra. happy with results walked out of court got a ride with lawyer back to union hall and promtly resigned from union after 3 weeks and get a refund of $80 Lawyer cost $10.