Telemarketing revenge

[Rodgera]

If a telemarketer calls, give the phone to your
3-year old and tell her it's Santa.

[rrich]

That is a good one. I like it. However no grandkids so no 3 YO to give the phone to.

Here I get MANY calls trying to sell roof top solar panels. The theory is that what you don't pay for electricity you pay for the panels. I'll let them go through their spiel and finally they get to the "How much do you pay for electricity?" part. It usually goes like this:
M: "I don't know."
T: "How can you not know?"
M: "The landlord pays the electricity."
It is amazing how quickly they hang up. About one in 10 will apologize for bothering me. The theory is to waste as much of their time as possible.

Another trick that I'll use is to answer the phone, "Bueno" and then to everything that they say I'll just say, "Si".
After about 5 "Si" responses they usually hang up.

Sometimes I'll get a real scam call. I'll tell that I'm a retired official and that the call has been traced. When I get the e-mail with their location, I'll give it to Vinny and ask him to take care of the problem. Vinny owes me quite a few favors. I'll explain that Vinny gives the problem to his cousin Guido in Palermo. And that the caller has become a problem that Guido loves to solve.

[AlexS]

We get lots of scam calls from the sub-continent. I put a bit of profane abuse into google translate, translated it into Hindi and recorded the translation on my mobile. When they call on the land line, I just play it back to them (spoken by a woman with a very sexy voice.). Seems to work.

[Handyjack]

The last call I had I told them the truth. "I'm up a ladder hanging on and unless you are prepared for a law suit hang up now!" They got the message.

[Allan at Wallan]

As soon as I recognize the nature of the call I ask the person to hold the
line whilst I switch on my recorder. When I click my tongue loudly into the
phone it is amazing how many times they hang up immediately.

Works most of the time.

Allan

[KBs PensNmore]

Had to read it twice Allan, cos first time I read it, I thought it read "the call of nature, I ask the person to hold the line"
Kryn

[CAG]

Haven't any of you heard of the Do Not Call Register? I never get any unsolicited calls. However, I also don't get dirty Indian talk or any offers to "hold my line'....damn, I'm missing out!

[AlexS]

The DNC register doesn't work for these overseas scam-artists.

[Allan at Wallan]

Sure I have heard of it and registered (more than once).
The last time I registered it was supposed to be permanent and no
need to re-register again.
Doesn't matter - these pests get around it and perservere.

Allan

[cava]

We are on the 'do not call' register, and still get the calls.

If it is not the overseas solar panel sellers, it is the government trying to give me something that I do not want or charities wanting my hard earned.

To be honest, I wish they would just all go away!

[doug3030]

Upon identifying it as a telemarketer call (not difficult, apart from the telemarketers the only person who has the number is the girlfriends mother) I do this:

me: Can I have your card number please?

them: what card number is this being?

me: Your visa or mastercard of course.

them: Why is it that you would be wanting this?

me: for the $25 fee

them: what is this fee being for?

me: I cannot discuss anything until you pay the fee.


And it goes on like a Monty Python sketch until they hang up and put me on THEIR Do Not Call Register.

Try it some time - it really confuses them.

Cheers

Doug

[dextadog]

Best so far. May I have it?

[Bohdan]

That is a good one. I like it. However no grandkids so no 3 YO to give the phone to.

Here I get MANY calls trying to sell roof top solar panels. The theory is that what you don't pay for electricity you pay for the panels. I'll let them go through their spiel and finally they get to the "How much do you pay for electricity?" part. It usually goes like this:
M: "I don't know."
T: "How can you not know?"
M: "The landlord pays the electricity."
It is amazing how quickly they hang up. About one in 10 will apologize for bothering me. The theory is to waste as much of their time as possible.

I let them go thru their whole spiel, make the appointment for the rep to come and when he arrives show him my panels on the roof and ask if his are as good as mine. When they complain about me wasting their time I just say "My turn to waste yours".

[dextadog]

I keep them going, wait till they have finished the pitch then ask how they will fit their system with the other 16 panels already up there as the roof is not that big. What I would really like is they keep the phone connected while they tell the guy beside them what they think of Australians.

[suparat]

We get a lot at work & my favourite stunt is to work out on whose behalf they are calling. Then google their opposition & tell them them that I can't make those decisions, but Steve at (oppositions number) can.