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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Beachport, South Oz, the best little town on the planet.
    Age
    73
    Posts
    776

    Default How to shower.... oldy but goody

    How to Shower:

    By Anon


    How to shower ... like a woman



    1.. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket
    according>to whites and coloureds. Walk to bathroom wearing long
    dressing gown.



    2.. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



    3.. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
    do more sit-ups.



    4.. Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
    wide loofah and pumice stone.



    5.. Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
    vitamins. Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.



    6.. Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
    natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes.



    7.. Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until
    red.



    8.. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
    Shave armpits and legs.



    9.. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray
    mould spots with Tilex.



    10.. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.



    11.. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If
    you see husband along the way, cover any exposed areas.



    How to shower ... like a man



    1.. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed & leave in a
    pile.



    2.. Walk naked to the bathroom if you see wife along the way - shake
    knob at her making woo-hoo sound.



    3.. Look at manly physique in the mirror, admire size of knob and
    scratch your ****.



    4.. Get in the shower.



    5.. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and
    let the water rinse it off.



    6.. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they
    sound in the shower.



    7.. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash
    your bum, leaving four pubes stuck on the soap.



    8.. Shampoo hair. Make shampoo mohawk. Pee.



    9.. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Partially dry off.



    10.. Fail to notice water on the floor. Admire knob size in mirror
    again. Leave shower door open, leave wet mat on the floor, leave light
    and fan on.



    11.. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull
    off towel, shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise. Again.



    12.. Throw wet towel on bed.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Pambula
    Age
    59
    Posts
    5,026

    Default

    Shampoo!!!?? That's a bit poofy isn't it?
    "I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    .
    Posts
    4,816

    Default

    Walk naked to the bathroom if you see wife along the way - shake
    knob at her making woo-hoo sound.


    Whats your wife doing at my place?

    Al :eek:

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    in the outer reaches of Sth Oz
    Age
    75
    Posts
    228

    Default

    iTS ok Al I dont think your a knob. BTW you dont use shampoo do you? :eek:
    I dont reckon Christopha uses shampoo ...first he needs hair
    Pete
    What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
    Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)

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