They live amongst us

[KBs PensNmore]

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius..
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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC . ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.."
--Al Gore, Vice President
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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix "
-- Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
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"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Feeling smarter yet?
Send it on to?
your brilliant friends.

[Twisted Tenon]

Where do you get this stuff?

TT

[P.W.H.]

Ye gods -- you read that, and then consider that your average voter sheeple take heed of endorsements of politicians by sports stars and entertainment stars.

Actually, it explains a lot.

[Christos]

I like it.

Not because it makes me smart but because it doesn't make me not smart.

[Christos]

I know that when in public speaking you can get a little ahead of yourself and say things that don't make sense. I would suspect that even those persons who said these; would get a giggle out of it.


The one that it outstanding for me is this one,

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

It tells me that the Department of Social Services is putting in a just in case you have not passed away clause.

[KBs PensNmore]

Where do you get this stuff?

TT

My so called friends send me this stuff, why, do you want to be on my emailing list too?

[fenderbelly]

My so called friends send me this stuff, why, do you want to be on my emailing list too?

Yeah you can add me.

[Twisted Tenon]

My so called friends send me this stuff, why, do you want to be on my emailing list too?

Yes thanks KB, I love this stuff.

TT

[chrisb691]

Loved them all. But in all fairness to Mariah Carey, the quote cited was lifted in entirety from a satire, and was never voiced by Carey.

[KBs PensNmore]

Yeah you can add me.

Yes thanks KB, I love this stuff.

TT

Done fellas

[rrich]

There is crime in general that is just plain stupid.

There isn't crime much dumber than carjacking. Well maybe carjacking from a place from where a telephone is just steps away. (i.e. A Petrol station)

No it gets worse, really.

Last night on the evening news there was a report of a carjacking attempt at a Petrol station. The carjacking was foiled by a local city bus driver leaning on his horn and . . .

the car being carjacked was a stick shift and . . .

the carjacking idiots couldn't drive a stick shift.


If there were a crime for being stupid, this was it.