Mens Rules

[Tikki]

Christopha, Steve .... tell me there's not one part of that rule you'd like to rewrite!

[Auld Bassoon]

Christopha, Steve .... tell me there's not one part of that rule you'd like to rewrite!

\]
If "you" (she who would like to be listened to, occasionally), just smile that certain way, then all rules are overridden.

For now!

Else, refer to rule #1

Nah! Ever so slightly more seriously, it's all about equal meaures of give and take, and if caring equates to giving more than taking, then I'm comfortable with that.

Salut!

[Tikki]

\]
If "you" (she who would like to be listened to, occasionally), just smile that certain way, then all rules are overridden.

For now!

Else, refer to rule #1

Nah! Ever so slightly more seriously, it's all about equal meaures of give and take, and if caring equates to giving more than taking, then I'm comfortable with that.

Phew!!! Thought I was gunna have to draw pictures!!

Cheers
Tikki

[echnidna]

Phew!!! Thought I was gunna have to draw pictures!!

Cheers
Tikki

You do need to draw pictures so the rest of us unnerstand.

[flea1607]

Roflmao

[Christopha]

Yeah..... Riiiiiiiight!

FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray that he's gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll love my mind,
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

Amen.

*****************************************
MALE PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bloody nice boat.

This doesn't rhyme, and I don't care.

Amen

[Tikki]

Christopha, you know me waaaay too well!!!

[Daddles]

Christopha, you know me waaaay too well!!!

Tikki, you are not deaf, you aren't mute, you are sensibly proportioned and you've never mentioned the liquor store or the boat despite opportunities and ... well, I don't know that I can comment on the other requirement

Richard

[custos]

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "Cumin" or "Tofu". For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, racing, or football, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is okay, I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my Mom too!!

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.

[Art]

For the mathematically minded:

To get a woman you need to spend time and money

Thus:

Woman = Time x Money

We all have heard the old adage "Time is money"

i.e:

Time = Money

Therefore

Woman = Money x Money

We have also heard that "Money is the root of all evil"

i.e:

You'll have to open the small jpg attachment (sorry I couldn't get some of the symbols to appear here).

[doug the slug]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, why does it seem that most marriage-like relationships on this board appear to be, well, for want of a better word, competitions! All these men not wanting to commit to anything without SWMBO's consent, and i bet SWMBO is spending sh!tloads every week without asking their partner. Am i unique in being able to make my own financial decisions as a male in a relationship? if so whats wrong with the rest of you men?

[JDarvall]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, why does it seem that most marriage-like relationships on this board appear to be, well, for want of a better word, competitions! All these men not wanting to commit to anything without SWMBO's consent, and i bet SWMBO is spending sh!tloads every week without asking their partner. Am i unique in being able to make my own financial decisions as a male in a relationship? if so whats wrong with the rest of you men?

yeh right !!! .....says the bloke with a lovely pair of breasts besides his name.

I don't know about everyone else, but not wanting to commit without SWMBO's consent, is something I do out of self preservation.

Simply, if I do things 'my way' everytime, I get an ear full, which means an arguement, which means stress, which chain reacts into all sorts of negitive things like.....kids overhearing an arguement, olcers, time wasted, no sex(sorry, I mean't 'making love') for at least a fortnight .........etc.

Why go through all that when all I have to do is discuss the situation reluctantly with SWMBO, resisting the ever building frustrations that come with expecting a negitive reaction to my idea. Preparing myself to say 'yes dear' in as cheerful voice as possible even before she properly finishes her opposing point. ie. WIPPED .........

I mean, which is the best of these two evils ???????? They've got us screwed fellas. Really .

I don't know how the hell I could continue without sex... I mean, ruuting, I mean, bumping uglys, I mean 'making love' ...!!!!

[fxst]

and if a washing machine had a fa**y women would have a bounty on their heads
Pete (checking behind himself)

[Iain]

I have heard the reference 'furry magnet' but I don't know what it means