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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Murray Bridge SA
    Posts
    293

    Default An Engineer or Lawyer?

    An Engineer was unemployed for long time. He could not find a job
    so he opened a medical clinic and puts a sign up outside: "Get your
    treatment for £500, if not treated get back £1,000."

    One Lawyer thinks this is a good opportunity to earn £1,000 and goes
    to his clinic.

    Lawyer: "I have lost taste in my mouth."

    Engineer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops
    in the patient's mouth."

    Lawyer: "This is Petrol!"

    Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be
    £500."

    The Lawyer gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later
    to recover his money.

    Lawyer: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

    Engineer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops
    in the patient's mouth."

    Lawyer: "But that is Petrol!"

    Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will
    be £500."

    The Lawyer leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

    Lawyer: "My eyesight has become weak."

    Engineer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for this. Take
    this £1,000."

    Lawyer: "But this is £500..."

    Engineer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back!

    That will be £500."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Cheltenham, Melbourne
    Age
    75
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Once I couldn't spel injaneer, now I is one.
    Chris
    ========================================

    Life isn't always fair

    ....................but it's better than the alternative.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Location
    Gold Coast Australia
    Age
    68
    Posts
    65

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chrisb691 View Post
    Once I couldn't spel injaneer, now I is one.
    You must have gone to the same university (Melbourne) as me. I couldn't spel injaneer , now I are one.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Bowral, NSW, Australia
    Age
    74
    Posts
    28

    Default

    Did I see it here? Don't know!

    How do you tell an engineer who is an extrovert?

    When he's talking to you he is looking at your shoes.

    CP

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Murray River, NSW
    Posts
    55

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Carry Pine View Post
    Did I see it here? Don't know!

    How do you tell an engineer who is an extrovert?

    When he's talking to you he is looking at your shoes.

    CP
    You obviously haven't met an engineer from Newcastle Uni. When the Engineering Fraternity is universally known as THE FRAT, the biggest drinking club in history, well, they're more likely to be throwing up on your shoes rather than looking at them!

    Craig B.E.(Civil), Dip. Ed.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Murray Bridge SA
    Posts
    293

    Default

    Craig, I got letters after my name too.
    Kryn, BSA, ARGG, F of C, OBS.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Shepparton *ugh*
    Age
    49
    Posts
    107

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KBs PensNmore View Post
    Craig, I got letters after my name too.
    Kryn, BSA, ARGG, F of C, OBS.

    That's funny...so do I...

    RSG, SoB
    Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    84

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by george mavridis View Post
    You must have gone to the same university (Melbourne) as me. I couldn't spel injaneer , now I are one.
    I went to QUT and studied elektrickal eng. I can speel fine not sure wot you're problem is.


    Oh, and CAG, injuneers always dominate the campus club, but we did one better. The elec eng social club had a yearly ball, with the engineering school and the nursing school. Imagine that. I know some families that were started at that event. I also still retain 2 of my EESEC steins from the organised pub crawl.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Westleigh, Sydney
    Age
    78
    Posts
    1,332

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CAG View Post
    You obviously haven't met an engineer from Newcastle Uni. When the Engineering Fraternity is universally known as THE FRAT, the biggest drinking club in history, well, they're more likely to be throwing up on your shoes rather than looking at them!

    Craig B.E.(Civil), Dip. Ed.
    That fits with most of the engineers I've ever worked with, plus daughter & SIL - both engineers. Actuaries, though, are reputed to be accountants with their personalities removed.
    Visit my website
    Website
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  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Murray River, NSW
    Posts
    55

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pearo View Post
    I went to QUT and studied elektrickal eng. I can speel fine not sure wot you're problem is.


    Oh, and CAG, injuneers always dominate the campus club, but we did one better. The elec eng social club had a yearly ball, with the engineering school and the nursing school. Imagine that. I know some families that were started at that event. I also still retain 2 of my EESEC steins from the organised pub crawl.
    Was it an annual 30 pub pub crawl with police presence? That's Newcastle for you!

    Anyway, I was just making the point that I've rarely met an engineer who's introverted. Look at me; letters AND full stops after my name!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Murray Bridge SA
    Posts
    293

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CAG View Post
    You obviously haven't met an engineer from Newcastle Uni. When the Engineering Fraternity is universally known as THE FRAT, the biggest drinking club in history, well, they're more likely to be throwing up on your shoes rather than looking at them!

    Craig B.E.(Civil), Dip. Ed.
    Does that mean Craig BE Civil. Sorry I didn't see the full stops
    Kryn. SOB ARGG Dip Sh*t

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