If Women Ruled ....

[Tikki]

Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.

PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.

Men would get reputations for sleeping around.

'Singles' bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.

A man would no longer be considered a 'good catch' simply because he is breathing.

Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 20 kg.

Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.

Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.

Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.

Little girls would read Snow White and the Seven Hunks.

Men would bring drinks, chips and dips to women watching soap operas.

Men would have to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.

Men would learn phrases like: 'I'm sorry,' 'I love you,' 'Sure we can talk. Is now okay?'

Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.

Men would wonder what WE are thinking.

Men would pay as much attention to their woman as their computer.

Road rage would turn in on oneself.

Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.

Men would divide up chores with women so WOMEN could be horny.

TV news segments on sport would never run longer than one minute.

All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator.

During mid-life crisis, men would get hot flushes and women would date 19-year-olds.

Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.

After a baby is born, men would take six weeks paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.

For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two year-old for six weeks.

[NotRalph]

Dear, Dear Ms. Tikki! Has your day been a little depressing? Does your HRT patch need renewing perhaps? What about a nice footrub while you have a cuppa and a nice long lay down?

[javali]

Men would wonder what WE are thinking.

I do. Honestly. Whenever she asks for opinion I wonder what she wants the answer to be.

Men would pay as much attention to their woman as their computer.

Well, my computer just ignores SWMBO. I wish I could...

[rufazguts]

Men would get reputations for sleeping around.

Some of us do......

Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.

Some of us like to share......

Women think? Ridiculous concept!

[doug the slug]

Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.

For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two year-old for six weeks.

done the prostate exam bit with the woman with the cold hands and big fingers.

one 2-year old for six weeks, compared to 40 teenagers for 12 weeks, BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Auld Bassoon]

Tikki,

May one assume that you've had a very bad day

From a purely male perspective, I cannot and will not condone such an overt feminine demonstration. You should be ashamed of yourself, and take youself off to the bathroom for a soap gargle...

I think I can guess why I'm now single again....

Bum's up (note: not cheers!)

[guest]

Tikki, Maaaaate, sic 'em love, they are just a bunch of grumpy old CHOPs

[DavidG]

Tikki
Is it THAT time?

[AlexS]

Men would wonder what WE are thinking.

OK, as long as it's just out of idle curiosity and we don't really have to care.

I can feel that reddy coming even before it's left your hand.

[fxst]

are tikkis something maoris wear round their necks??? :confused:
Now I know why women should be called Tikki
just another stone around the neck
Pete (running and weaving)

[Tikki]

Thankyou all for your advice, but I'm having the sweetest day, and each one is getting better ..... think I'll just go pour me a loooong, warm bubble bath and relax with JB!

[flea1607]

Brillant list Tikki

[echnidna]

Brillant list Tikki

Not really Flea!

The title is "If Women Ruled"

but they don't

So look after your masters :eek: :eek: :eek:

[flea1607]

Not really Flea!

The title is "If Women Ruled"

but they don't

So look after your masters :eek: :eek: :eek:

Now who was it that wrote "behind ever great man was a greater woman".

[Christopha]

Now who was it that wrote "behind ever great man was a greater woman".

Wasn't it Eva Braun???