I should feel bad but I don't.

[Bob38S]

We have all heard of the apprentice being sent to the store for striped paint, a left handed screwdriver etc - be careful of a left handed circular saw as Makita actually used to make one.

A while back I ordered a pizza, it was made and cooked, just as the operator was about to cut it I interrupted, I asked if it could be cut into 6 pieces instead of 8 as I didn't think I could eat 8.

There was a very pregnant pause and stunned look followed by a blustering flood of words to the effect of - the company's policy was 8 and could not be changed.

I had been caught by my own joke which obviously flew very high over the operator's head. I agreed that the person could cut it into 8 as I didn't want them to be in trouble for not following company policy.

Not sure if it was a case of hearing but not listening or indoctrination.

[Cliff Rogers]

Straight through to the keeper I reckon.

[Chesand]

I would not feel bad either. We seniors or near seniors have to have our fun. o

[Sir Stinkalot]

I was with a mate at the deli in the supermarket when he asked for a stick of kabana. As is often the case the deli assistance asked if she could break it in half ..... my mate quickly responded that he would prefer if it was sliced lengthways instead . This too was lost on her!

[KBs PensNmore]

I was in Woollies the other day at the deli counter, and told the lass there that the chickens were no good, she asked "why was that" I replied "cos they're stuffed" went straight over the top of her, but another lass quite a bit older, laughed as she got the joke.
Younguns have no sense of humour

[A Duke]

Hi.
Yea we should some times be ashamed of our selves. I went into a chemist and a lass was helping me decide which Strepsils' I needed. I asked her if she knew what was wrong with you if your nose ran and your feet smelt, she said she did not know so I told her "you are upside down", she gave me a polite smile and a blank look and then the penny suddenly dropped and she roared with laughter. We were being closely watched by the other girls and when she was finished with me they wanted to know what was so funny and as I went out the door they all broke into laughter at the mental picture of a pare of feet sniffing and a nose jogging along.
Regards

[Big Shed]

.........
Younguns have no sense of humour

They are conditioned to be prompted to laugh by the canned laughter track on TV, when that is missing they don't know when someone said something funny.

[Grumpy John]

In the days when you had to sign the back of your credit card I once signed mine with a texta pen as I was sick of the biro ink smudging. At a supermarket one day whilst checking my signature the young lass gave me a funny look at seeing such a thick signature. I explained to her that they wouldn't allow me anything sharp where I lived. Blank stare, no smile, nothing.

[doug3030]

I was buying a USB extension cable.

The young shop assistant asked "How long do you want it?"

Naturally being me, I replied "Actually I want to keep it."

He looked at me with a blank stare, raised his voice slightly, obviously assuming I was deaf, and responded "I SAID - HOW LONG DO YOU WANT IT?"

Well at least I tried to inject some humor into his miserable day

Cheers

Doug

[Tonyz]

One of the businesses I work with has a team of attractive young lasses, one day there was a new girl on board, I was introduced and made some comment about her beautiful hair, one of the long established lasses leans over to her and says, "dont worry he's not a dirty old man just senile" I resemble that remark.
I enjoy flirting with them and think from their responses they enjoy it also, at least I'am harmless not like their hormone raging, pimple nosed little idiotic male friends.

[Uncle Al]

When asked 'are you all right?', my usual answer is 'no, I'm half left'.
Get some funny looks sometimes.

Alan...

[rwbuild]

Bunnings assistant (BA): Need a hand"

Me: No thanks, got one on each arm

or

Put on shocked look on face and reply: I didn't know I'd lost one

or

No thanks, don't have a third arm

or

I think I would look strange with 3

BA: How you going?

Me: By car

BA (thinks hard for a come back): What sort?

Me: A reliable one

Coles checkout chick: Flyby's?

Me: Usually plane

[cava]

All Dad jokes I see. Now I know why my kids groan when ever I tell a joke.

The sad part is, that I think they are funny...

[doug3030]

Bunnings assistant (BA): Need a hand"

Me: No thanks, got one on each arm

True Story...

Bunnings Assistant: Can I help you?

Me: Hi, I am looking for a 5/8" drill bit to make a hole in some mild steel.

Bunnings Assistant: Here, this will do it. (hands me a 5/8 wood auger bit and grins)

Me: Thanks heaps. (continues to look at the drill bits)

Bunnings Assistant: Can I help you with anything else?

Me: No thanks, thats all.

Bunnings Assistant: Have a nice day, let me know if you need anything else. (walks off)

Fast Forward two weeks......

Same Bunnings Assistant: Can I help you?

Me: (shaking head in despair) I seriously F*(k!#g doubt it.

Cheers

Doug

[KBs PensNmore]

I'd have to agree with you there Doug, the intelligence of some of the staff there, certainly leaves a lot to be desired.
Quite often I go there, only cos the other half wants to get some weeds there, and wander in the tool section, more often than not, I help some of their customers, cos the staff don't know what or how to fix it. Sometimes I even send the customer to Mitre 10 as they have the item the customer is looking for.
Kryn