How to speak New Zealand

[Daddles]

Stop picking on the kiwis - THEY CAN'T HELP IT.

Richard
and their sheep understand them.

[wolfman]

Baaaaair




Life is like a box of router bits "they both go round" DOH

[gatiep]

It's pretty obvious from the previous that the Aussies havn't heard themselves like us "foreigners" hear them. ( Just as funny marone moron ) (Or like the foreigners would say maroon moron )

[joseph84]

i seriously cant stop laughing!!

[JDarvall]

It's pretty obvious from the previous that the Aussies havn't heard themselves like us "foreigners" hear them. ( Just as funny marone moron ) (Or like the foreigners would say maroon moron )

ohhh, now look whos getting cheeky,,,eh,,,,,,,things definetly are getting pretty bloody fiece when somebody starts using the 'm' word.........ya, nasty pasty.

[rsser]

... Oz rugby team fly over to play in UnZud. Outside their hotel, overnight, a bit of graffiti appears on an advertising hoarding: "Australia sucks". Next day an enterprising Oz player gets out early and sprays underneath it "NZ five".

[Tikki]

Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zilland, is rudely awoken at 4am by the telephone.

"Hillen, its the hilth munister here. Sorry to bother you et thus hour but there es un emergency! I've just received word thet the Durex factory en Auckland has burned to the ground.
It is istimated thet the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week."

"Shuuuuuut - the economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies - we'll be ruined!" We're going to hef to shup some en from road...Britain?..."

No chence!! The Poms wull have a field day on thus one!"

"What about Australia?"

Maybe - but we don't want them to know thet we are stuck. You call John Howard - tell hum we need one moollion condoms; ten enches long and four enches thuck! Thet way they'll know how bug the Kiwis really are!!"

Helen calls John, who agrees to help the Kiwis out in their hour of need.
Three days later a van arrives in Auckland - full of boxes. A delighted Helen rushes out to open the boxes. She finds condoms; 10 inches long; 4 inches thick, all coloured green and gold. She then notices in small writing on each and every one


MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE : MEDIUM

(From one of our esteemed male BB members)

[JDarvall]

Brilliant !!!!! ..... God, it was hard work understanding that.....but it was spot on the accent alright....though, I don't know Tikki.....someone might sensor it ? ......hope not.

[joseph84]

loved it Tikki

[boban]

Oh bugger, I must be an XXXXS.............

[Iain]

Oh bugger, I must be an XXXXS.............

But they wear them as beanies................duckhids

[doug the slug]

Brilliant !!!!! ..... God, it was hard work understanding that.....but it was spot on the accent alright....though, I don't know Tikki.....someone might sensor it ? ......hope not.

Who would want to sensor a work of art like that, well done tikki, i tried to send you another greenie but i cant yet


Doug