One for Studley 2436

[Tikki]

Baby Photographer

The Johnson's were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to
arrive, Mr. Johnson kissed his wife and said, " I'm off; the man should be
here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang
the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. Good morning madam. I've come to .."

" Oh, no need to explain. Come in, " Mrs. Johnson cut in.

" Really ? " the photographer asked. " Well, good! My specialty is
babies."

" That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."

After a moment, she asked, blushing, " Well, where do we start?"

Photographer - "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bath-tub,
one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes, the living
room floor is fun too . you can really spread out!"

Wife - " Bath-tub, couch, bed, living room floor? No wonder it didn't
work for Harry and me."

Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one ever
time.
But, if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

Wife - " My, my, that's a lot of action."

Photographer - "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd
love to be in and out in five minutes, but, you'd be disappointed with that,
I'm sure."

Wife ( muttering ) - " Don't I know it."

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."

Wife - "Oh my god!!"

Photographer - "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you
consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

Wife - "She was difficult?"

Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park
to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five
deep, pushing to get a good look."

Wife - "Four and five deep?" Her eyes widened in amazement.

Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours, too. The mother was
constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate! Then,
darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
possums began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Wife ( leaning forward ) - "You mean they actually chewed on your errrm.
equipment?"

Photographer - "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my
tri-pod so that we can get to work."

Wife - "Tri-pod?"

Photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a tri-pod to rest my Canon on. It's
much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? ... Madam ..?

Good Lord, she's fainted!"

[scooter]

Ripper Tikki


Cheers...........Sean

[echnidna]

pay that one

[flea1607]

ROFLMAO - in the mist of coughing attacks

[Studley 2436]

*LMAO*
I think I should do some door to door

Studley