English Manglage

[silentC]

When are people going to get it right? It's would have, should have, could have; not would of, should of, could of. Do you say to your kids at night: "Of you cleaned your teeth before bed"?

"Do you have any bananas?"
"No, I do not have any bananas."
"You should have bought some."
"I could have, at least I would have, but they didn't have any."

See, it's not hard really.



Have a nice weekend.

[knucklehead]

But I don't want any bananas.............. would of been different if they were apples though.

[silentC]

You could of brought your own.

[echnidna]

yes, we have no bananas

[silentC]

Whenever I hear that it conjures up the image of Max Gillies in 1986 as John Howard (then leader of the opposition) singing it to Paul Keating (then treasurer).

[Gumby]

These days it's more like:

"Do you have any bananas ?"
"No, I do not have any bananas."
"Why the ****** not you a*hole! I need 'em for my frickin lunch you mother %&(*%$^% prick !"

[silentC]

So you've been to lunch with Zed then?

[Driver]

When are people going to get it right? It's would have, should have, could have; not would of, should of, could of. Do you say to your kids at night: "Of you cleaned your teeth before bed"?

"Do you have any bananas?"
"No, I do not have any bananas."
"You should have bought some."
"I could have, at least I would have, but they didn't have any."

See, it's not hard really.



Have a nice weekend.

The answer to your first question is: Not any time soon.

I can well remember my primary school teachers correcting kids that got this one wrong - a very long time ago (and yes - I am still allowed to drive - and quite probably faster than you, kiddo!)

Mind you, they also used to spend a fair bit of time trying to get the same kids to say "chimney" instead of "chimbley"

[Auld Bassoon]

G'day all,

This is 'sorta-kinda' related, so it doesn't really qualify as a hijack

One of my pet hates (and I have a few ) is the degree to which apparently quite well educated people fall into using malapropisms; examples being "were" instead of "where", "there" instead of "their", and so on.

Reading documents and, especially!, e-mails filled with sort of verbal MDF really does annoy (Perhaps I'm doing MDF an injustice here; that really does have some uses)

Cheers!

[Driver]

On a slightly hi-jacked track, I have a long-standing dislike of "management-speak".

I first noticed this very peculiar phenomenon when I was about 23 or so. Back then, the key in-vogue phrases were:

"This is it" (where previously "That's it" had been good enough) and
"At the end of the day" (superceding the perfectly adequate "In the end")

My current pet hate is "Going forward ..." as a substitute for "From now on ..."

The thing is (sorry - I should say: "Issue is...") if you are a thrusting young potential corporate high-flyer (read: ambitious but essentially stereotyped f@rt) you can't use normal language. You must use management speak in your bid to emulate the senior execs whom you hope one day to succeed in their positions of authority. Or at least that's the conventional view ("observed wisdom ..." is the phrase).

In fact ("Reality is...") you can make just as much and maybe more progress if you just speak in plain English and don't waste your time trying to learn all the bloody buzz words.

[Daddles]

Col, it's no wonder you stuggle with managementese. You completely miss the point. If managers used normal language, we would understand them and hence realise just how little they really do know about their job, whereas at the moment, we just suspect it.

Dilbert Rules.

Richard
insert joke here that I was planning to include but can't remember it. No, I am NOT having a senior moment ... I hope :eek:

[DanP]

Have a bloke at work who says, "G'day how are we?" Or "Hello, how are we today/tonight?" Drives me nuts. Feel like saying, "I'm all right, don't know about you though"

Dan

[custos]

One of my pet hates (and I have a few ) is the degree to which apparently quite well educated people fall into using malapropisms; examples being "were" instead of "where", "there" instead of "their", and so on.

I could not agree more. I despair that "you're" is being lost from our written language. Everywhere you look these days people use "your" in each instance. My enjoyment of reading Neil's great book on finishing was somewhat spoiled by the forum-style discussion at the end, which was full of such crud... "three coats of varnish and your done" arrrrgh.

Just pencil me in as a grumpy old spelling nazi.

[Driver]

Col, it's no wonder you stuggle with managementese. You completely miss the point. If managers used normal language, we would understand them and hence realise just how little they really do know about their job, whereas at the moment, we just suspect it.

Just to be entirely serious for a moment (yerss, I know ... and yerss, this really is me, I have not been abducted by aliens - the foily is working ) Where was I? .....Oh yes, just to be entirely serious for a moment: I was a fairly successful (no, bugger modesty - very successful) senior manager for a couple of big companies for quite a long time. I made a constant effort over almost all of that time (ie, from the age of about 23, when I first noticed management-speak), to avoid using the buzz words. I am quite sure that the fact that I didn't quack like all the other ducks only got noticed by the relatively few non-quackers who, like me, noticed these things.

Over the same extensive period, I met many capable, competent people who, despite their predilection for quacking away in management speak, had successful careers - in most cases, deservedly so.

I also met a fair few total d*ck heads who exhibited the same verbal affliction. Most of these got nowhere but it was not their inability to speak like normal people that got in the way of their progress.

insert joke here that I was planning to include but can't remember it. No, I am NOT having a senior moment ... I hope :eek:

Maaate! That looks like a senior moment! If it looks like a duck and it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it's a duck! (Or possibly a corporate high-flyer!! :eek: )

[DanP]

What really gives me the Shytes is news readers making up their own version of english and the everyone just accepts it. Eg: Jennifer Keyte - The word "medicine" is pretty simple. It's not MEDCINE - it has an 'I' in the middle. OR, The use of the word 'an' prior to words starting with the letter 'H'. You use the word 'an' prior to words starting with vowells, which, last time I checked "H" was not.

Dan