16 yr old exam answers

[Stewie D]

16 yr old exam answers

This was sent to me a few years ago by a friend who is a retired schoolteacher in Canada. Around this time of year ( exam time of course ) I send it on to those people who have kids and are worried about their results.

These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds.


The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England.
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists


Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire


Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.


Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed


Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery


Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death


Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow


Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow


Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U.


Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie


Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election


Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs


Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental


Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium


Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome


Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.


Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.


Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight


Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

So if you were worried about your kids take heart !

Stewie

[Old farmer]

Thank you very much, Stewie. Bloody beauties! Bill.

[DaveTTC]

Nice laugh


Dave

The Turning Cowboy

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

These are the next gen of voters?

Thx for that, Stewie. It gave the Gal and I a good guffaw.

[Ed..]

These are the next gen of voters?

And not to mention that they will breed soon!

[_fly_]

And not to mention that they will breed soon!

With IQ's like that lets hope they don't work out how?
Wasn't it holding hands does it.
Or was it if you drank out of a boys glass you got boy germs.

[Ed..]

With IQ's like that lets hope they don't work out how?
Wasn't it holding hands does it.
Or was it if you drank out of a boys glass you got boy germs.

Ooops.. too late, they have worked it out! don't know about where you live but there are a couple of suburbs near me where it seems that the filter on the gene pool wasn't working properly on a regular basis! They live amongst us. , shame on me .. now I am being mean.

[_fly_]

Ooops.. too late, they have worked it out! don't know about where you live but there are a couple of suburbs near me where it seems that the filter on the gene pool wasn't working properly on a regular basis! They live amongst us. , shame on me .. now I am being mean.

It must be near me.

If I go to the local shops you see a pretty 19 yr old getting out of a car going into cash converters.

Pregnant, a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old in tow that don't look alike and never a wedding ring.

[A Duke]

It must be near me.

If I go to the local shops you see a pretty 19 yr old getting out of a car going into cash converters.

Pregnant, a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old in tow that don't look alike and never a wedding ring.

Who gets married now days, it's only the Gays who want to do that and they are not allowed to.