A few to get you all groaning......

[MBM888]

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $30, blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, An hour later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!

Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador . "Really, ." says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death

Woke up in the middle of the night shouting, 'Hobbit, hobbit, hobbit!'
Guess I must have been Tolkein in my sleep...

[Opelblues2]

just told my daughter, these jokes. i wont repeat what she said

[rwbuild]

Your intro line said it all

[Carry Pine]

I just sent these to the two people who annoy me most. Thanks MBM.

[doug3030]

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

We had a meeting at work this morning. The boss asked "so who is not happy?"

I couldn't help it really - I replied "Well, statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy."

From that point onwards nothing productive came from the meeting. Thanks MBM888.

Doug

[doug3030]

We had a meeting at work this morning. The boss asked "so who is not happy?"

I couldn't help it really - I replied "Well, statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy."

From that point onwards nothing productive came from the meeting. Thanks MBM888.

Doug

I am getting so much mileage out of that joke.

Today at work I was one of a selected few to attend a meeting with someone from top management who wanted to talk to a few frontline workers to create an impression that they are interested in the issues that confront us when we all know its a whitewashing exercise.

Anyway this clown starts spruiking about what statistics say about how our part of the business is performing. I tell him that what they say about what we do is irrelevant because their bean counters are evaluating our performance by comparing our measurable output to a theoretical spreadsheet that they have convinced management is the ideal when in fact it is not.

He took me to task and asked me to give an example.

I said that if I presented him with a statistical data analysis that said that six out of seven dwarfs are not Happy would he think that it was misleading because I was using a name to imply a state of mind.

He responded that yes that would be misleading but he could not see how that applied to the statistical data he received.

I responded that I agreed. That was not the data that was being presented to him by his bean counters. I said that the data he was getting was when they took the statistic that six out of seven dwarfs are not Happy and misrepresented it as therefore six out of seven dwarfs ARE Grumpy when we all know that only one is.

It has been a good week at work

Cheers

Doug

[Enfield Guy]

That is hilarious