embarrising first date

[Gino]

EMBARRASSING FIRST DATE
This just tells you how hard it is to be single nowadays...
This was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno on September 7, 1999. Jay went
into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever
had.
The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely
no question as to why her tale took the prize! She said it was midwinter...
snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing. It was a day trip
(no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.
The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late
that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually
began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were
about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of
nowhere. Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a
while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a
point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside
the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she
quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.
Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let
her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion
stood on the other side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a
real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was
the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As
she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks
were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to
flag poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her
flesh from the icy metal.
It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the
extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she
answered his concerns about "what was taking so long" with a reply
that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and needed some assistance"!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater
and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.
She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the
situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it
would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the
icy metal.

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her
free so, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to
unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. Rescue accomplished, they
returned to the car although for the remainder of the trip home there
wasn't much conversation and apparently, despite their "intimate
encounter," the two did not see one another again.
As for the Tonight Show...she took the prize hands down...or perhaps that should
be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing...This brings
a whole new definition to being " off"..

[John Saxton]

Case of definately being off on the first date.

[Gino]

or in her case on.