airlines

[Gino]

After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes, and then the mechanics read and correct the problem.
They then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, as submitted by QANTAS pilots, and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had
an accident.

P = The problem logged by the pilot. S = The solution and action taken by the engineers. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.

[Red neck]

Hi Gino,

That accident thingy is a bit of a myth put out by QANTAS. They recently spent millions repairing a B747 at Bangkok - (more than the aircraft was worth) – the accident was then downgraded to an incident!! Ah well, I guess it saved their reputation.

As someone once said: “Any landing you can walk away from is a good one – and even better if you can reuse the equipment!”

RN

[DarrylF]

Gino, Gino, Gino - so much for originality Corunetes posted this back in July mate

[Gino]

Sorry Darry, but there will always be some over lap. It's happend to me before and it will again.
Besides I was living in isolation back then,
(not in Jail, just in the home I was building I had no radio, computer or t.v.)

regards

Gino

[RETIRED]

Should have gone to Gaol. They have all these things

------------------
Ian () Robertson
"We do good turns every day"

[Gino]

Your quite right, look at our friend Julian Knight. I could even obtain a university degree on tax payers money.

God bless

Gino

[Eastie]

And you'd probably be garunteed more face to face contact, lower class sizes, ..., ...

[Gino]

Quite true Westie, I just hope he never gets released. He's one bad apple.


regards

Gino