Results 1 to 3 of 3
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Lindfield N.S.W.
    Age
    63
    Posts
    1,644

    Default EC makes Euro-English the official Eurpoean Language

    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vordskontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

    If zis mad you smil, U no vat to do.
    Cheers

    Jeremy
    If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Katoomba NSW
    Posts
    332

    Default

    He He, das is gut
    Those were the droids I was looking for.
    https://autoblastgates.com.au

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    SW Sydney
    Age
    75
    Posts
    12

    Default

    Jees mate, looks like a Labor Party briefing paper, Peter Garrett style
    Androgens Order
    Forgive your enemies, but never, ever forget their names.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but never forget.

Similar Threads

  1. EU official language
    By Gingermick in forum JOKES
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 13th November 2005, 06:02 PM
  2. The Official Language Of Europe
    By stephenmeddings in forum JOKES
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10th November 2004, 10:50 AM
  3. GW Bush and the English Language!
    By hexbaz in forum NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH RENOVATION
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 27th August 2004, 09:13 PM
  4. English language problems
    By Bob Willson in forum JOKES
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 7th June 2004, 04:21 PM
  5. English language
    By Bob Willson in forum NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH RENOVATION
    Replies: 58
    Last Post: 3rd April 2004, 12:37 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •