cust is always right

[Gino]

I'm sorry about all the >>>>>> but I just don't have the time to remove them all.

And so the customer is always right?
> >
> > Read on..........
> >
> > *******************************************************
> >
> >
> > At 3:37 a.m. on a Sunday, I had just looked at the clock to determine my
> > annoyance level, when I received a frantic phone call from a new user of
> > a Macintosh Plus. She got her entire family out of the house and was
> > calling from her neighbor's.
> >
> > She had just received her first system error and interpreted the picture
> > of the bomb on the screen as a warning that the computer was going to
> > blow up.
> >
> > *******************************************************
> >
> > Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
> > Customer: "Ok."
> > Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
> > Customer: "No."
> > Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
> > Customer: "No."
> > Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
> > point?"
> > Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
> > (At this point I had to put the caller on hold to tell the rest of the
> > tech support staff what had happened. I couldn't, however, stop from
> > giggling when I got back to the call.)
> > Tech Support: "Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?"
> > Customer: "I have done something dumb, right?"
> >
> > *******************************************************
> >
> > One woman called Dell's toll-free line to ask how to install the
> > batteries in her laptop. When told that the directions were on the first
> > page of the manual the woman replied angrily, "I just paid $2,000 for
> > this damn thing, and I'm not going to read the book."
> >
> > *******************************************************
> >
> > Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
> > getting the same error message."
> > Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
> > Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
> >
> > *******************************************************
> >
> > Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
> > Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
> > Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
> > Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
> > Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
> > Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
> > Customer: "What?"
> > Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
> > Customer "No..."
> >
> > *******************************************************
> >
> > Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
> > see the 'OK' button displayed?"
> > Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
> >
> > *******************************************************
> >
> > Customer: "Uhh...I need help unpacking my new PC."
> > Tech Support: "What exactly is the problem?"
> > Customer: "I can't open the box."
> > Tech Support: "Well, I'd remove the tape holding the box closed and go
> > from there."
> > Customer: "Uhhhh...ok, thanks...."
> >
> > *******************************************************
> >
> > Customer: "I'm having a problem installing your software. I've got a
> > fairly old computer, and when I type 'INSTALL', all it says is 'Bad
> > command or file name'."
> > Tech Support: "Ok, check the directory of the A: drive-go to A:\ and
> > type 'dir'."
> > Customer reads off a list of file names, including 'INSTALL.EXE'.
> > Tech Support: "All right, the correct file is there. Type 'INSTALL'
> > again."
> > Customer: "Ok." (pause) "Still says 'Bad command or file name'."
> > Tech Support: "Hmmm. The file's there in the correct place - it can't
> > help but do something. Are you sure you're typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and
> > hitting the Enter key?"
> > Customer: "Yes, let me try it again." (pause) "Nope, still 'Bad command
> > or file name'."
> > Tech Support: (now really confused) "Are you sure you're typing
> > I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the key that says 'Enter'?"
> > Customer: "Well, yeah. Although my 'N' key is stuck, so I'm using the M'
> > key...does that matter?
> >
> > *******************************************************
> >
> > At our company we have asset numbers on the front of everything. They
> > give the location, name, and everything else just by scanning the
> > computer's asset barcode or using the number beneath the bars.
> > Customer: "Hello. I can't get on the network."
> > Tech Support: "Ok. Just read me your asset number so we can open an
> > outage."
> > Customer: "What is that?"
> > Tech Support: "That little barcode on the front of your computer."
> > Customer: "Ok. Big bar, little bar, big bar, big bar . . ."
> >
> > *******************************************************
> >
> > And the best for last!!!!
> >
> > Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and
> > now my A: drive won't work."
> > Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?"
> > Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in
> > my drive, now it won't work at all."
> > Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages
> > did you get?"
> > Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the
> > drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it
> > out. That didn't work either."
> > Tech Support: "You did what sir?"
> > Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it
> > wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit."
> > Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push the eject button?"
> > Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a
> > turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that
> > got it loose. Then I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can't
> > believe you would send me a disk that was broke and defective."
> > Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A:
> > drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?"
> >
> > At this point, I put the call on the speaker phone and motioned at the
> > other techs to listen in.
> >
> > Tech Support: "Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat
> > what you just said?"
> > Customer: "I said I put butter in my A: drive to get your crappy disk
> > out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out."
> >
> > Tech Support: "Did you push that little button that was sticking out
> > when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk
> > eject button?"
> >
> > Silence.
> >
> > Tech Support: "Sir?"
> > Customer: "Yes."
> > Tech Support: "Sir, did you push the eject button?"
> > Customer: "No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I'm going
> > to sue you for breaking my computer!!"
> >
> > Tech Support: "Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our
> > company because you put the disk in the A: drive, didn't follow the
> > instructions we sent you, didn't actually seek professional advice,
> > didn't consult your user's manual on how to use your computer properly,
> > instead proceeding to pour butter into the drive and physically rip the
> > disk out?"
> >
> > Customer: "Ummmm."
> >
> > Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do
> > record every call and have it on tape?"
> >
> > Customer: (now rather humbled) "But you're supposed to help!"
> >
> > Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do for you.
> > Have a nice day."

[oges]

aaah is nice to see im not the only one who gets customers like that....