"Dear Girls

For too long we men have been divided and conquered in the name of
equality, feminism and a host of other bobbins. No more! The man fights
back!!

Tell your friends, the 90's man is dead.... Long live the Man of 2001.

Listen up ladies, below is how it REALLY is.....

If you think you might be fat, you are. Don't ask us. Just get your
backside down to a gym.

Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put the bloody thing down.

Don't cut your hair. Ever. It causes arguments when we comment on it.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we
can find the perfect present... again.

Sometimes, we're not thinking about you.

Live with it. Saturday = Football/Rugby/Any other sport. Let it be.
Shopping is not a sport.

Anything you wear is fine. Really.

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank
range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

Most blokes own two to three pairs of shoes, so what makes you think
we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good
with your dress?

'Yes', 'No' and 'Mmm' are perfectly acceptable answers.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Your Mum doesn't have to be our best friend.

Check your oil. It is an essential part of the car.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
we were going out.

Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

It's not the dress that makes you look fat. It's all that bloody
chocolate you eat that makes you look fat.

Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes
you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from
reading them.

The male models with the great bodies you see in magazines are all
gay.

If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we rate how
pretty you are?

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the
commercials.

When we are in bed and look tired this means that we are tired and
does not mean that we want to discuss the relationship.

If you can learn the above, then man and woman can co-exist on a level
based on love and mutual respect.

The ball's in your court."

p.s. you need to speak the following out !!

Pharmacology,

In pharmacology,all drugs have a generic name. Tylenol is Acetaminophen,
Aleve is Naproxen, Amozil is Amoxicillin, Advil is Ibuprofen, and so on.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra, and announced that
it has settled on Mycoxafailin. Also considered were Mycoxafloppin,
Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin and Mydixadud.