This is an oldie but it's worth a read.

Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a
little fireside chat.

He says "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our
honeymoon suite, I took off my trousers and handed them to your mother, and
said, 'Here honey, try these on.' So, she did and said 'Well sweetie
they're a little too big, I can't wear them'.

So I replied, 'Exactly. I wear the trousers in this family and I always
will'. Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

"Hmmm," says Jack. He thinks that might be a good thing to try. So, on his
honeymoon Jack takes off his trousers and says to Jill, 'Here babe, try
these on'.

So she does and says, "These are too large, they don't fit me."

So Jack says, "Exactly. I wear the trousers in this family and I always
will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."

Then Jill takes off her knickers and hands them to Jack and says, "Here,
you try on mine."

So he does and says, "I can't even get into your knickers."

So Jill says, "Exactly. And if you don't change your f+*!%$g attitude, you
never will".