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Thread: Handy machine

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    Pretty Sally Hill, Wallan Vic
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    Default Handy machine

    An old "woodie", about my age, and not in the best
    of shape, decided to go for a workout in the Wallan gym
    when he spotted an absolutely beautiful woman.

    He asked his personal trainer, "What machine should I use
    to impress that young lady over there?"

    The trainer looked him up and down and replied,
    "I think you should start with the ATM near the front door".

    Allan
    Life is short ... smile while you still have teeth.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    Bottom of the leg
    Age
    82
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    366

    Default

    i'll pay that, the joke not the other
    Cheers Fred



    The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with the light on.
    http://www.redbubble.com/people/fredsmi ... t_creative"

    Updated 26 April 2010
    http://sites.google.com/site/pomfred/

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    Munruben, Qld
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    Default

    You only get what you pay for mate.
    Reality is no background music.
    Cheers John

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    SW Sydney
    Age
    75
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    Default

    What's an ATM??
    Androgens Order
    Forgive your enemies, but never, ever forget their names.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but never forget.

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by Rodgera View Post
    What's an ATM??
    1. Money cannot buy happiness but, somehow, it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes Benz than it is on a bicycle.
    2. Forgive your enemy. But remember the bastard's name.
    3. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
    4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
    5. Alcohol does not solve any problem. But then, neither does milk
    ​Scotty Heilander

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Pretty Sally Hill, Wallan Vic
    Age
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rodgera View Post
    What's an ATM??
    Your education has been sadly neglected Rodgera

    ATM (Automatic Teller Machine)

    A machine that spits a few dollars out (from your own account)
    at the push of a couple of buttons.
    Life is short ... smile while you still have teeth.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Mt Crosby, Brisbane
    Posts
    316

    Default

    Some people don't need to know about atm's, insufficient funds...
    I'm just a startled bunny in the headlights of life. L.J. Young.
    We live in a free country. We have freedom of choice. You can choose to agree with me, or you can choose to be wrong.
    Wait! No one told you your government was a sitcom?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    SW Sydney
    Age
    75
    Posts
    12

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Allan at Wallan View Post
    Your education has been sadly neglected Rodgera

    ATM (Automatic Teller Machine)

    A machine that spits a few dollars out (from your own account)
    at the push of a couple of buttons.
    Gees I thought it was "Allan's The Man", what a let down
    Androgens Order
    Forgive your enemies, but never, ever forget their names.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but never forget.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    ACT
    Age
    85
    Posts
    546

    Default

    Oh, I thought an A & T Magazine.


    1A It's more comfortable to cry on a Persian carpet than a dirt floor.
    5A Troubles looked at through the bottom of a glass are only magnified.
    6 Money isn't every thing but it can buy most of what it's not.
    Regards
    Hugh

    Enough is enough, more than enough is too much.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Blackbutt QLD
    Age
    31
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    0

    Default

    Hahaha good one

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