This was in the Calgary Sun (Canada) ... the title of the article was "Best Comeback
Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Ward Branham, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Lethbridge, Alberta, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
Ward will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency,
and public intoxication at the Calgary courthouse on Monday. The suspect
explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You
know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here
for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.
Ward went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out
a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it,
and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need".

"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident
embarrassment.

In the process, Ward apparently failed to notice a police car approaching
and was unaware of his audience until officer Brin Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I
walked up to (Ward) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Ward. "I just
went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're screwing a
pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me
straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"