One Day Cricket - Wife's First Time

[Honest Gaza]

For Christmas, my wife gave me a couple of tickets for the 2nd 1-Day Final at the SCG. I was pleasantly surprised at first, until I noticed where the seats were.

Bay 14 – Concourse area.

Now I’m not exactly a regular at the cricket but I was pretty sure that Bay 14 had to be somewhere near Bay 13….and Bay 13 is infamous in the sporting world.

So, giving the wife the benefit of the doubt, I decided that there was probably no malice intended. However, just in case ( call it insurance if you like ), I decided that since she had given me two tickets…I would take her with me.

This is not the first time that I have noticed that the difference between the look of ecstasy and horror is somewhat cloudy.

Anyway, like it or not, she was coming. So we set off from home around lunchtime and she was initiated into the joys of “parking” in Cleveland St when it is supposed to be illegal. It can be really annoying when you tune into the ABC and they comment on how there doesn’t seem to be a big crowd for the match.

“That’s because we’re all parked in Cleveland St you idiot !!!”

Eventually we made it to the Fox Studio Car Park and wound our way up to the summit before our oxygen tanks ran out. A quick scramble down the stairs and the option of pre-paying for the carpark seemed a good idea at the time.

Some nice gentlemen greeted us at the gates of the SCG and briefly checked our bags. It must have been thirsty work because every once in a while they would keep a sample of whatever the people had in their bags. We had various flavours of diet coke which didn’t seem to interest them so my wife was a little apologetic about that.

Making our way to our seats was as much fun as an after Christmas sale but eventually we got there in one piece. Now the fun began.

Some idiot in front of my wife was wearing a straw hat the size of Kirstie Alley’s backside and he was under the false impression that by tying up one end of the hat it would be less of a hindrance to others. He was wrong….along with the other 20 thousand people wearing the same kind of hat. My wife was unable to see anything as the stupid hat was casting a dark shadow across both pages of her New Idea magazine.

Four rows ahead of us, a group of supporters wearing the old “Oi Oi Oi” t-shirts from the long gone Olympic games kept jumping up on their seats trying to initiate some war cry. Unfortunately, I think that those same Olympic games was also probably the last time they had showered or shaved. They became so annoying that an elderly gentleman next to us started throwing things at them to make them sit down. ( I guess when you think about it, those old chicken bones were only going to start smelling under his seat anyway ).

As you are aware, the game was a bit of a fizzer and accordingly, the crowd got more and more restless. Beachballs started flying above the crowd and for the most part, the police chose to ignore them. Unfortunately, one of the SCG crowd controllers took great delight in seizing them and poking them with his ballpoint pen. I thought he went a bit over the top when he chose to perform some crowd surfing in order to get to them.

And the most disconcerting part of all is when the “Oi Oi Oi” yobbos decided to make a snake from the empty beer cups. Apparently, this is an invitation for all those around to hurl their cups at those in the general area. It was at this time that my wife and I were treated to free refreshments that appeared to drop from the sky. My wife asked if that was what was referred to as a “Golden Shower”….it’s certainly as close as I ever want to get to one.

When the 8th Pakistan wicket fell, and the natives got more and more restless, we decided it was time to leave so that we could beat the exodus.

By the time we made it to the Fox Studios carpark, the queues to pay were already building. At least something had gone right for us I thought. We then wound our way down through the carpark and got to the exit gate. To my dismay, these gates were permanently open…..NO NEED TO PAY !!!!

My wife asked if we should let the people who were queuing up to pay know that the gates were open. We looked at each other….shook our heads and said

Bugger them !

[craigb]

Sorry you had such a bummer of a time.

Next time, go to a day of the TEST Cricket, and get a seat in the stands.

The Bradman is good, but any of the stands are better than the consourse.

If you really want to sit in the outer, the outer below the Bradman stand is alcohol free.

I'm sure there are other areas in the outer that are dry as well.

Under no circumstances go anywhere near the Doug Walters stand. But then you know that already.

BTW, AFAIK the infamous Bay 13 is at the MCG, but I think they may have recently demolished it. I'm sure one of the Melbourne members will know for sure.

[Kris.Parker1]

Although bay 13 might not exist as it did in the past, there are still those that remember its hallowed turf and can distinguish it by using a fence, a seat and a bit of chey stuck on the ground which point to the exact position of the old Bay 13 area. Mind you now it is gone it is spreading like a cancer through that area of the ground during the big cricket matches. It doesn't help at all when idiots are allowed in the the ground concealing alcohol and other mind altering substances which often get used in amounts that would kill any normal person.

Most one dayers are excellent to go to. Just move, normally the staff at the ground are very accomodationg, especially if you plead a good case.

Cheers

Kris

[silentC]

The saddest day at the SCG was when they demolished the hill. What a great day out that used to be

I reckon that it's all part of the fun. Once there was a guy sitting in front of me wearing a hat like that. I grabbed the brim with both hands and said "look, I'm driving a bus". Didn't that go down a treat? Fortunately, I was sitting next to my wife and she would intimidate anybody with "that look".

The bit at the end where everyone throws their half full glasses up in the air is a real laugh. I like to try and catch one with some still in it and see if I can hit one of them in the back of the head with it. It's all just a bit of fun.

But you simply cannot beat sitting near the Barmy Army when the English "team" (scoff, snigger) is touring.

"Everywhere we go-oh"
"People want to know-oh"
"Who we are?"
"Where do we come from?"
"We are England"
"The mighty, mighty England"

And you sing back:
"Everywhere we go-oh"
"People want to know-ow"
"Why can't we ba-at"
"Why can't we bo-owl"
"Because we are England"
"The crappy-crappy England"

They love it!!

[Christopha]

Your day at the cricket may have been crap but your description certainly isn't..... Thank you for a good laugh mate!

[Honest Gaza]

Glad you enjoyed it Christopha....I don't think she'll be buying me any more tickets in the future though.