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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Drop Bear Capital of Gippsland (Lang Lang) Vic Australia
    Age
    74
    Posts
    2,238

    Default With reservations......

    Never try to outsmart a woman!
    >
    > There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money,
    > and
    > was a real miser when it came to his money.
    > Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take
    > all my money and put it in the casket with me.
    > I want to take my money to the afterlife with me".
    > And so, he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he
    > died,
    > she would put all of the money in the casket with him.
    > Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket; his wife was sitting
    > there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.
    > When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to
    > close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!"
    >
    > She had a box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the
    > casket.
    >
    > Then, the undertakers locked the casket down, and rolled it away.
    > So, her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all
    > that
    > money in there with your husband".
    >
    > The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I am a Christian, I can't go back on my
    > word.
    > I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with
    > him".
    > "You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?
    > "I sure did", said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my
    > account
    > and wrote him a cheque.
    > If he can cash it, he can spend it".
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Women Are Smarter Than Men
    > Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles
    > decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
    > Going to a singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath
    > away.
    >
    > "I'm just an ordinary man", he said, walking up to her, "but in just a
    > week
    > or two, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars".
    > The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became his
    > stepmother.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Women's Revenge
    >
    > "Cash, check, or charge?" I asked, after folding the items the woman
    > wished
    > to purchase.
    >
    > As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television
    > set in her purse.
    >
    > "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
    >
    > "No", she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I
    > figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him.
    >
    > Understanding Women (A Man's Perspective)
    >
    > I know I am not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you
    > can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out
    > by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Wife vs Husband
    > A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
    >
    > As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked
    > sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
    > "Yep", the wife replied, "in-laws".
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Words
    > A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
    > day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
    >
    > The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
    > everything to men".
    >
    > The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Stupid and Beautiful
    >
    > A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and
    > so beautiful all at the same time".
    >
    > The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you
    > would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to
    > you!
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > The Beast
    > Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was
    > losing his temper.
    >
    > "Be careful", he said to his wife. "You will bring out the beast in me".
    >
    > So what?" his wife shot back. "Who's afraid of a mouse?"
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Coffee
    > A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
    > coffee
    > each morning.
    >
    > The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we
    > don't have to wait as long to get our coffee".
    > The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should
    > do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee".
    >
    > Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that
    > the man should do the coffee".
    >
    > Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me".
    >
    > So, she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at
    > the top of several pages, that it indeed says... "HEBREWS".
    Stupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    uk
    Age
    75
    Posts
    177

    Default

    eight to nil in favour of the fairer sex there Iain,, I guess thats about right too bless em. Wouldnt have it any other way though would we.
    Love em to bits.
    beejay1

    http://community.webshots.com/user/eunos9

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