Things I Learned from Children
(no, not me personally, I'm only 20 - a little squidger myself)

  • If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough
    to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman
    cape.
  • It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by
    20-foot room.
  • When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too
    late.
  • Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
  • A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year
    old man says they can only do it in the movies.
  • If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does
    not leak--it explodes.
  • A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4
    inches deep.
  • Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
  • Super glue is forever.
  • McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
  • No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk
    on water.
  • Pool filters do not like Jello.
  • VCR's do not eject PB&J (peanut butter and jelly, for those who need more sleep) sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
  • Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
  • The fire department in San Jose has at least a 5-minute response time.
  • The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
  • It will, however, make cats dizzy.
  • Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.


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Cogito cogito, cogito ergo sum
- I think that I think, therefore I think that I am

[This message has been edited by Tristan Croll (edited 13 October 2000).]