Bruce and Simon (ooh lala) were checking out the junk shops in the hope of finding something for their antique stall in the local markets.
In the doorway of a paticularly grotty shop,Bruce noticed a cat lapping milk out of a really great Royal Doulton saucer.
He nudged Simon and gave him a knowing wink.
Then, acting very casual,Bruce said to the old codger running the shop,"That's a very nice cat.Like to sell him?"
"Well said the old guy,"I might be willing to let you have him for, say, ten bucks."
Simon picked up the cat and said,"We might as well take the saucer too,seeing as he's used to drinking from it."
"No way."
"But why?"
"Because thanks to that saucer I've already flogged fifteen cats."

AND............

In response to sounds of unusual activity in next doors backyard, a neighbour looked over the fence.
A great deal of shovelling was taking place.
A very large hole was being excavated,
"What are you doing?"
"Burying my dead cat."
"OH what a pity.But tiddles was only a small cat. Why the big hole?"
"Because,"solemnly explained the neighbour ,"He's inside your great bloody German Sheperd!"

With apologies to Bozo


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Johnno