Best Day Golfing

[gazaly]

A man takes a week off and decides to play a round of golf everyday.
First thing Monday he sets off on his first round and soon catches up
to the person in front. He sees that this is a woman and as he gets closer
to her on the Par 3, he sees that she is a stunner. He's interested and
suggests that they play the rest of the round together. She agrees and a
very close match ensues.

She turns out also to be a very talented golfer and she wins their
little match on the last hole. He congratulates her in the car park then
offers to give her a lift when he sees she doesn't have a car. All in all
it's been a highly enjoyable morning. On the way to her place, she thanks
him for the morning's company and competition and says she hasn't enjoyed
herself so much on the course for a long time. "In fact," she says, "I'd
like you to pull over so I can show you how much I appreciated everything".
He pulls over, they kiss and she ends up giving him a oral pleasure.

The next morning he spies her at the first tee and suggest they play
together again. He's actually quite competitive and slightly peeved
that she beat him the previous day. Again they have a magnificent
day, enjoying each others company and playing a tight round of golf.
Again she pips him at the last, and again he drives her home, and
again she goes down on him in appreciation.

This goes on all week, with her beating him narrowly everyday.
This is a sore point for his male ego, but nevertheless in the car
home on Friday he tells her that he had such a fine week that he has a
surprise planned: dinner for two at a candle-lit restaurant followed by a
night of passion in the penthouse apartment of a city hotel.
Surprisingly, she burst into tears and says she can't agree to this.
He can't work out what the fuss is about but eventually she admits
the truth.

You see," she says, "I'm a transvestite." He is aghast. He swerves
violently off the road, pulls the car to a screeching halt and curses
madly, overcome with emotion.

"I'm sorry" she repeats.
"You bastard," he screams (rather red in the face), "you cheating bastard, you've been playing off the ladies tees all week!"

[Iain]

Reminds me of a chap I worked with who was in the Navy during the Vietnam conflict.
He was telling us about shore leave in Hong Kong and how he picked up a gorgeous girl in the bar, plied her with drinks and took her back to his room. Lights off and into bed and Surprise Surprise. Heard this one several times from a lot of people and what they did, usually throw them out.
What did you do then Pete?...Well, I'd been at sea a long time.