Little Johhny at the School Play

[Iain]

The school was having it's annual play and Little Johnny (Saxton?) was not invited to participate, much to his disgust.
The big night arrives and one of the acts did not turn up. Little Johhny offered his services and offered to do farmyard calls. The offer was refused on the basis that the act may turn up. Well into the evening the act still had not arrived and Little Johhny, sensing an air of desperation offered his services yet again. The teachers thought long and hard about how Little Johhny could be offensive with farmyard calls and finally relented and announced the act.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, here is Little Johhny who is going to perform some farmyard calls"
Little Johhny walks onto the stage, takes a deep breath, cups his hands over his mouth, and.................'GET OFF THE F#*+!*G TRACTOR'.

Neil, I heard that one from a bunch of female social workers. Now thems is offensive

[John Saxton]

I will say one thing and that is I dont add all those funny things in a word when I tell someone to #@** off!

I like to tell it as it is but for the sake of a little decorum on this BB I will adhere to the conventions in place.

Cheers

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Johnno

[ubeaut]

F ck. Put a u in there and this is what happens **** there are a few other choice words that this will also happpen to Sh t add an i and you get ****. Get the picture. Better that you add your own F#@%ing (funny things) at least we will know what you are trying to say rather than have a clueless sentence like the one below.

He put his finger in her *** and said **** your **** is tight you ******* **** you.

You could read it as this:
He put his finger in her EAR and said GOSH your NECK is tight you LOVELY LADY you.

When what it really says is this:
He put his finger in her *** and said **** your **** is tight you ******* **** you.

[Iain]

**** ** ******** * ****? *** ******* ** *** *******!
**** ** ********** *** ***** $200.00 ONO.

[JackoH]

SHEET!!

[Iain]

Hey Neil, how about a space between each letter, can your programme cope with it.
I won't try it as you may spread rumours about my Ozito state of the art equipment.

[John Saxton]

Now that would be below the belt.I mean I thought you were in love with your Festo not your Ozito.
Them Ozito's are gonna get jealous!!

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Johnno