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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Age
    54
    Posts
    243

    Default What people can tell about you ...

    A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

    * 2 litres of low fat milk

    * a carton of eggs

    * 2 litres of orange juice

    * a head of lettuce

    * half a dozen tomatoes

    * a 500g jar of coffee

    * a 250g pack of bacon


    As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
    drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
    the cashier.

    While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly
    stated, "You must be single"

    The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was
    Intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

    She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
    unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to

    her marital status.

    Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what,
    you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"


    The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
    Great minds discuss ideas,
    average minds discuss events,
    small minds discuss people

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Bunbury WA
    Age
    76
    Posts
    74

    Default

    Ha ha ha...I love it.

    Neil

    Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonay in one hand - Strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming - "WOO WOO...What a ride"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Melbourne, Victoria
    Age
    49
    Posts
    641

    Default

    Drunk walks into his bedroom where his wife is asleep with a duck under his arm.

    He says, "This is the pig I've been rootin'"

    His wife, woken by his staggering in the door, sits up and says, "You idiot, that's a duck".

    He says, "I was talkin to the duck".
    Is there anything easier done than said?
    - Stacky. The bottom pub, Cobram.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    .
    Posts
    4,816

    Default

    Dave, Dave , Dave, straight to hell for you, do not go past go, do not collect $200.


    Al

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Beachport, South Oz, the best little town on the planet.
    Age
    73
    Posts
    776

    Default

    Ignore Al, his hats too tight, gooood one son,,,, I have already passed it on to me motherinlaw!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Kariong, Central Coast, NSW
    Posts
    4

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Christopha
    Ignore Al, his hats too tight, gooood one son,,,, I have already passed it on to me motherinlaw!
    Speaking of Mother-in-Laws... I bought mine a chair for Xmas... she won't plug it in..!
    There's always a better way to do things, get someone else to do it for you.!

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