Neanderkid

[bitingmidge]

At the moment ski-trips (believe me, the view from the top of Cardona and the thrill of ski-ing is something amazing!) and complete and utter freedom are too appealling. Maybe in another year or two..

Yep, it's bloody hard, expensive, frustrating work.

My youngest turned 18 three years ago, and we left home. We have at least fifteen years of skiing left in us (we think), and you don't understand what utter freedom is till you've "got out of jail"!!

Having said that, we hitched through Europe when we only had two (aged two and four) travelled most of Oz in the 18 years after the third was born, sailed to more places than most can imagine, saw the US and NZ, all the while remaining stoney broke.... but they were adventures we wouldn't have had in that form if we were "alone".

But as for Lefty's advice about not letting us impress our values on you.... pppfffftttt!!! If you didn't want our values expressed, you wouldn't have asked!!

At the end of the day, it's your life and your decision to make, not ours!

Cheers,

P

[Redback]

Exactly, Im interested in hearing diverse opinions.

I want also want to hear the positives, because I can see the negatives, they are obvious.

Its the stories that started this thread that have a meaning.

Unfortunately, I will never know how my father felt about me as he passed away a few years ago.
I value everyones opinion and I apologise for hijacking this thread

[Daddles]

Kids. Early or late.
I had my kids late. In my mid thirties. My eldest is now 12 and I was divorced just after he turned two. He came to live with me and has done so ever since. I did the single dad bit for three years, then I met my second witch ... er ... wife. She brought with her an eighteen month old son who I then raised as my own - I work from home so I was Mister Mum. Four years ago, my daughter was born and the Mr Mum bit continued of course. But about ten months ago, my ex decided to go back to an old boyfriend and my step son, who regarded me as his father (while still seeing his natural father), was forbidden to see me. For the last ten months, I've had my son living with me and my daughter half the time living with me - back to doing the single dad bit (it's a good life actually).

Kids. They restrict your life as far as being a free young person goes, but that's only a state of mind. The birth of my son didn't stop me doing things, it just changed the things I did. The same with raising my step-son. And ditto with my daughter. There are things we don't do or do differently because of the kids (like my choice of boats, swapping the motorbike for an MG), but they haven't stopped me living a full life. Interestingly, they used to stop the ex from doing things, but that was because of the choices she made and not what she did, but how she chose to do them. Now that she's got her boyfriend, when she's supposed to have the kids, she leaves them with grandparents and friends so she can go do things. My kids are always with me and if it's not appropriate for a three year old to be doing something, I modify what that was so she can be involved. We haven't missed out on much.

So I've had basically full responsibility for caring for a child under five, for the last fifteen years. During that time, I've been an active competition aeromodeller, active in competition dog obedience and agility, an instructor in dog obedience and agility, I've built boats and I'm slowly learning how to sail the things. We go fishing, go to sporting events (my son is a keen soccer player - training twice a week has started already, matches start in term two, and he plays cricket as well), motor racing, etc.

Having my kids late meant that I was able to do a lot while younger, yet I think back and with what I know now, probably not much more than I would have had I had the kids. Having my kids late means that I'm not young, fit and agile and my son misses out because of that. I get tired easily, get grumpy, etc. However, I'm also a lot more patient, a lot more wise and he still leads a full life. Having them late means that I won't be free of the kids until I'm sixty five probably, while those who had them early are, at my age, touring alone.

Look, you win and you lose. Have the kids when you are ready. If they are restricting your life, you have the wrong attitude. They restricted my ex's life to the point where she resented them, and now that I'm not there to stop it, she dumps them. I've had kids underfoot much longer and don't feel that I've missed out on much. About the only restriction on my life has been with my writing - I'm a writer and it's bloody hard to write with an under five underfoot. However, I've still managed a lot and feel that I'm probably a better writer for having the kids.

It's your call. You'll know when you're ready, but just make sure you're having kids because you want kids - that's the only reason.

Cheers
Richard

[ozwinner]

Being 6 foot 1 and look tough doesn’t make me a real man, .

Wongo Wongo Wongo, Ive met you and the toughness didnt come through old son, sorry.

Al

[RETIRED]

That’s beautiful mate. Just ignore .
Another thing makes me so proud is my daughter thinks I can fix everything. I love it when she says “Daddy can you fix it for me please”. Yes she is right, I am very good at putting Barbie’s head and body back together.

You lot must be learning. No comments except for Wongo.

It was posted in Jokes, so I moved it because I thought it made a lousy joke and deserved better.

[outback]

I was a s old as Lefty when we had our first (25), the best comment I received whilst SWMBO was pregnant came from a close family acquaintance, not friend just acquaintance,

"heh heh, now you'll know your really alive"

he was right, 12 years later, I can see what all the fuss is about.

I wouldn't want to have had children any later, but any younger, maybe I would be a divorce statistic.

Like everyone else, I wouldn't change a damn thing.

[Sturdee]

You lot must be learning.

Not necessarily . Having spent 3 days on a jury, with 3 more to go, I am too tired to bite. 3 Days without workshop time I'm going crazy. :eek:


Peter.

[bsrlee]

Kids:

O.P.'s are good to practice with - if you make a mistake & they start crying you can give them back.

Advice from a friend with has 2 x 2 lots of kids. Stop at one, at least until #1 is at kindy. 2 kids, whether twins or just a year or 2 apart will drive you more than usually crazy as they will 'tag team' you - One goes flat out while the other sleeps & builds up energy, then they swap. He got out-maneuvered by the missus both times - he's now converted to blank firing (snip!). Still loves kids, just wanted better timing.

[Rusty]

My partner and I had not been together long when we found out she was pregnant, and we were on shaky ground even then. We've stuck it out, though, through nine (actually ten, she just corrected, reading over my shoulder) years and three children but we've been through some mind blowing changes in that time. It happens when you've been delaying the onset of maturity, and then you have to grow up all at once.

Two of my oldest mates and their wives are now expecting their first children. It's been difficult to relate to them all these years; I've found that other fathers simply understand and accept that they as individuals are less important than their families. They laugh grimly when I compare us to soldiers who have no expectations of survival- It's the mission that's important. My friends who have hitherto been childless really seem to have been hung up on concerns that I have had to regard as petty, to be frank. Parenthood drastically changes your values and perspectives. (Understatement of the year)?!

As for age, I know I still had quite a bit to get out of my system, but as old Hank Rollins said: "Regret? **** that guy". But after having given horsie rides to all three of my children at once I'm grateful that I didn't do it on older knees. I'm nearly thirty-four.

My eldest son was given a hammer and nails when he turned four. He regards tools as merely functional things. I made my younger son a toolbox and filled it with assorted hand tools for his fifth birthday. He's a natural and has the bug. He won't listen to anything I say in the house, will not lift a finger to pick up after himself and can throw violent tantrums when upset, but he's attentive, patient and diligent with his tools. My daughter, three, seems to be inclined towards tools as well. They play out side with lengths of 4x2 pine, hardwood offcuts and junk that they won't let me throw away. Add also to the mix sand, water, ****, snot, leaves, old clothes, carpet.....they have an evolving cubby that is a source of harmony and inspiration, as well as bickering and outright conflict. Such is life.

Lately it's felt extremely good to be handed an old grey piece of scrap and be asked to turn it into something. And to be able to do it.

Ah, theres no right answers, or ages, rules to be followed or formulas to apply. Children will arrive when they think we're ready, not when we think we are.

(Phew, second big emotional dump in recent times, must be getting soft. Inhaling too much sawdust, or not enough)?

Goodnight, Ladies and Gentlemen.

Rus.

[Shaty40]

I am nearly 46, my eldest is nearly 4 my second is nearly2, l couldn't be happier.Yes l could,it could have been 10 years earlier. But life doesn't work like that!!

I spent year doing what l wanted to do, travelling europe, skiing all over the place and enjoyed every minute. but nothing gives me the joy of my 2 girls.

Tim

[soundman]

That enough of the soppy stuff.
The real question (groggy) is when are you buying him some tools of his own.
Then a serious parental question, "how old should a boy be before he is allowed to use power tools"

[reeves]

great story, ;love it mate and good vibes to u all.

My sone is nearly 14 and today turned a canlde holder by hiself, i just let him go, he has a good eye for turning and have made some drumsticks and a few other things.

I love watching his skils and interest grow and he actually pretty good..

so proud..!

cheeeeeers

[E. maculata]

"how old should a boy be before he is allowed to use power tools"

I'll jump right in here with 3 words, Old cordless tools

[ozwinner]

I'll jump right in here with 3 words, Old cordless tools

You rang??

Al

[Groggy]

That enough of the soppy stuff.
The real question (groggy) is when are you buying him some tools of his own.
Then a serious parental question, "how old should a boy be before he is allowed to use power tools"

That was written a while ago. He has a pretty decent tool kit now, no "kids" tools - all users. While he lives at home he uses most of mine.

Now, "how old should a boy be before he is allowed to use power tools?" Well, it depends on the tool, it depends on the task and it depends on whether the task is supervised and it depends mostly on the boy himself.

I know men who should not be allowed near tools of any description and boys that can safely and productively use heavy machinery. The age is not as important as the attitude and aptitude.