The Shelf that Rearranged a Workshop

[Groggy]

I made a cupboard for SWMBO's laundry the other day, and, true to form, she came to me a few days later and said "honey, that cupboard is great.....but....well....it needs another shelf..."

Well, a shelf is easy right? Two cuts, four measurements, no problem. "Ok" I said and, with that, I was doomed.

Out to the shop, it's a nice breezy 70 deg, sun is shining - perfect day.

So I look for a piece of melamine to make the shelf out of, hmmm, all the "off cuts" are a smidgeon too small - darn. So I look in the stack of panels and there is one melamine sheet 8' x 4'. Hmmm again, I haven't had a sheet this big on BUFF (Big Ugly Fat Feller - table saw) before, so I call SWMBO to give me a hand to get it up onto the sliding table, which she does.

As is my habit, I do a practice cut first and find the jointer is in the way, so I move the jointer (heavy 8" suckah, bad for the back). Then, on the next practice cut, I find it hits the workbench as it nears the end of its travel. Now I get the tape out and measure the full 8' x 4' field I need forward of the blade and find a small table that I have over the compressor also gets in the way. Then, I measure the field for a board oriented longitudinally and find it hits the far wall.

Still, the sun is shining and it's a great day.

I surveyed the shop and decided the only way this will work is to spin the table saw (TS) 180 deg and move it to abut the wall on the right hand side. This is done quite easily (relatively for a saw this *^%&$ heavy), however the compressor needs a new home. I remove the wall mounted table and compressor from the shop, also the drill press (DP) as it was in the way. SWMBO sticks her head out the door at this point and says "I thought you were doing my shelf?"

I explain what is going on and she says "but it is only a simple little job, you don't need to go to all this trouble!". I think this is where the tic in the left eye started, but can't be sure. I pick up the DP again as it was in the way, and, part way through the carry, I notice a spider (about an inch and a half, walking up my arm. As it nears the elbow I notice the red stripe - it's a Redback. Drawing on my memories of the Scot's favourite pastime, I perform a quite creditable Caber-toss with the DP (which thankfully lands on the lawn) and do "The Wild Thing" trying to get the little Red Feller off me without being bitten, thankfully I manage it and we each go our own ways.

I am now very alert, I figure about a nine latte alert level. SWMBO is laughing at me through the kitchen window, SWMBOette is with her. I am without dignity.

Still, it's not a bad day outside.

Back to the task at hand, the recalcitrant BUFF is now squatting off-level, so out come the spirit levels to get him back to level again. An hour goes by as I adjust the position of the TS to get it optimised for large sheets, then adjust the feet. I then notice the sliding table isn't right - it's moved somehow - "Oh no". This may be where the tic in the other eye started, but I can't be sure.

Still, there's some daylight left.

Two hours were spent getting the travel of the sliding table and swing arm back to how they should be. Another half hour fiddling with the dust collection hoses, which are now way too long. A few quick adjustments with some other lengths of hose and I'm back in business. Now to re-run the electrical cable and move the tools inside. It's getting dark and cold and I don't want moisture on the metal. Before I can move them, I have to move a stack of wood on the other side of the shop to get the compressor in. This is done fairly quickly, though I make a hole in my skin with a long lost nail. Of course, this is in my hand, and blood is transferred to the 'good' timber before I notice it. Timeout to clean up the timber. Suddenly it is very chilly and I need to turn the lights on.

It's been a long day, every machine in the shop has moved. The woodpile is now three woodpiles. Somehow I have more space - lots more. I can feed a full 8' x 4' sheet any way I want to and not hit anything. The place is tidy, but - it's late. Too late to use the saw so I can't make the shelf. I head inside defeated, bruised and bloody from the days attempt to work. SWMBO shakes her head, but knows me well enough after all these years to realise this is "quiet time". SWMBOette can't be seen anywhere - smart kid.

This morning I went out to the shop and made the two cuts over a total of eight minutes. Fitted the shelf within ten. SWMBO said "why didn't you just do that yesterday?" then ran away and locked herself in the bathroom - laughing.

Still, it's another nice day....

[bitingmidge]

Sigh, another day in my life!

Except I knew it wasn't me becuase the shelf did get cut and erected, all the half built shelves are stacked vertically behind my timber stack!

Hey groggy, would you mind putting a few paragraphs in there, it's a good yarn, but a bit hard to read without the white spaces.

Cheers,

P

[Groggy]

Hey groggy, would you mind putting a few paragraphs in there, it's a good yarn, but a bit hard to read without the white spaces.

Sorry about that, something to do with the way I cut and pasted it - it carried some weird formatting with it. I notice the spacing is now too much, oh well!

cheers.

[Sturdee]

I notice the spacing is now too much, oh well!

Better too much than not enough. I tried to read it earlier but gave up at the 5th line, now at least it is readable.

Great story, I can relate to it as I used to have that kind of thing too, until I extended the workshop. The solution is to extend your workshop.


Peter.

[Geoff Dean]

Same things happen to me, though when I mention a bigger workshop SWMBO just raises one eyebrow. This can be very scary as it is usually a precursor to something bad. I usually admit defeat and go down to the doghouse and talk to them for about an hour. It is generally then safe to venture back up to the house.

Alas, I am still looking for that bigger workshop, however the size and quantity of projects that she requires is constantly growing by a factor of 10 to the 3rd power.

[silentC]

Well, I had an 8x4 sheet of veneered particle board that I wanted to cut up the other day.

It was too big to cut on the tablesaw, but buggered if I was going to rearrange the shed.

I would normally put it on the big bench (not Frankenstein, the other one) and rip it down with the circular saw but the bench was taken up by one of my Dad's current projects (restoring a life-size fibreglass chimpanzee - don't ask). I couldn't be bothered clearing it off.

Frankenstein was covered in tools and stuff that I had to put down there because of the Chimpanzee project.

It was looking grim until I remembered the array of handsaws hanging on nails from the bearer overhead. So I grabbed the sharpest looking one, scribed a line, and ripped the sucker down where it stood.

[Termite]

It was looking grim until I remembered the array of handsaws hanging on nails from the bearer overhead. So I grabbed the sharpest looking one, scribed a line, and ripped the sucker down where it stood.

Did it take long to remember how?

[silentC]

No but my handshake was a bit weak for a day or two afterwards

[craigb]

restoring a life-size fibreglass chimpanzee

:eek:

[Iain]

Didn't know Zed was in need of restoration.
The joys of mobile bases to move long boards out of one obstacle into another

[scooter]

Enjoyed the read Groggy.

Reminds me of most sojourns out to the shed.

I'm surprised your mention of cut & paste didn't include cleaning up around the computer, defragging, looking for updated versions of software, printing out that thing from last week, etc...


Cheers mate................Sean, job multiplier :eek:

[DaveInOz]

LOL
Masterfully told sir.

[Wayne Davy]

Great yarn!! Reminds me of every weekend in my cramp toy room (what..yes dear, I know I cannot have a big workshop yet...sigh)

[Iain]

The prodical son ahs returned

[Wayne Davy]

Shhh... I'm in cognito...