Duck by all means

[John Saxton]

Big city Lawyers should not mess with southern country farmers!!!!

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee . He shot and dropped
abird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over th e fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his
tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now
I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over
here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the
United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take
everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle
disputes in Tennessee . We settle small disagreements with the 'Three
Kick Rule.'"

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to
go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on
back and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that
he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
attorney.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the
lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his
mouth.

The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end,
sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.

Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart.
Now it's my turn."

__.................................
The old farmer smiled and said , "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck

[AUSSIE]

Very good John.Sometimes I wish I was that farmer

[joe greiner]

When I saved this to my Jokes folder, I found an earlier copy, and another similar title, so here it is (probably from here originally):

Cheers,
Joe
-------------------------

A hillbilly went hunting one day in Georgia and bagged three ducks.

He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like hillbillies.

The game warden ordered the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out a valid Georgia hunting license.

The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "This duck ain't from Georgia. This is a Tennessee duck. You got a Tennessee huntin' license, boy?"

The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Tennessee hunting license.

The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said, "This ain't no Tennessee duck. This duck's From Mississippi You got a Mississippi license?"

The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Mississippi hunting license.

The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said, "This ain't no Mississippi duck. This here duck's from South Carolina. You got a South Carolina huntin' license?"

Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a South Carolina hunting license.

The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly, "Boy, just where the heck are you from?"

The hillbilly turned around, dropped his pants, bent over, and said, "You tell me. You're the expert."