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Thread: Quiz Shows

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    Default Quiz Shows

    Here's some extract from mainly UK quiz shows although ABC 774 Melbourne gets a mention too:

    The Weakest Link, BBC1/BBC2

    Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
    Contestant: Jool carriageway.

    Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
    Contestant: Bombay.

    Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
    Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

    Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
    Contestant: (long pause) Joe?

    Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol

    Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
    Caller: Japan.

    Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

    Caller: Er... Mexico?

    Family Fortunes, ITV

    1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
    2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon
    3) Name the Capital of France? F
    4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
    5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
    6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital
    7) What is Hitlers first name ? Heil
    8) A famous Scotsman? Jock
    9) Some famous brothers ? Bonnie and Clyde.
    10) A dangerous race ? The Arabs
    11) Something that floats in a bath ? Water
    12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse
    13) Something you wear on a beach ? A deckchair
    14) A famous Royal ? Mail
    15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with wings
    16) A famous bridge ? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
    17) Something a cat does ? Goes to the Toilet
    18) Something you do in the bathroom ? Decorate
    19) A method of securing your home ? Put the kettle on
    20) Something associated with pigs ? The Police
    21) A sign of the Zodiac ? April
    22) Something people might be allergic to? Skiing
    23) Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep
    24) Something you put on walls ? A roof
    25) Something Slippery ? A conman
    26) A kind of ache ? A fillet of fish
    27) A Jacket Potato topping ? Jam
    28) A food that can be brown or white ? A potato
    29) Something sold by gypsies? Bananas
    30) Something Red? My sweater


    The Afternoon Programme Quiz, ABC 774

    Presenter: Who killed Cock Robin?
    Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was dead.

    Lincs FM phone-in

    Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
    Contestant: Barcelona.

    Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
    Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.


    Steve Wright Show, Radio 2

    Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
    Contestant: India.

    Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
    Contestant: Expresso.

    Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
    Contestant: Sydney.

    Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
    Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

    Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC

    Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
    Contestant: Four.
    They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They're not laughing now.
    Bob Monkhouse

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2004
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    Default

    Simon, loved the Family Fortunes bit, Naomi Campbell; and the Arabs. ROTFL.

    Sean


    The beatings will continue until morale improves.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Sydney, NSW, Australia
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    Default

    Yes, Private Eye magazine has a regular column of these called
    "Dumb Britain"

    It always amuses me.

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