Engineering Phrases (what they really mean)

[Rodgera]

Customer satisfaction is assured. (We're so far behind
schedule that the customer will settle for anything.)

Please see me / Let's discuss it. (I need your help. I've screwed up again.)

The project is in process. (It's so tied up in red tape that it's
completely hopeless.)

We're trying a number of different approaches. (We're still guessing,
at this point.)

Close project coordination. (We met together and had coffee.)

Years of development. (It finally worked.)

Energy saving. (Turn off the power to save electricity.)

We'll have to abandon the entire concept. (The only person who
understood the thing just quit.)

We had a major technological breakthrough. (It's boring, but it looks
high tech.)

We're preparing a report with a fresh approach. (We just hired a
couple of kids out of college.)

Preliminary operational tests proved inconclusive. (It blew up when
we flipped the switch.)

Test results proved extremely gratifying. (Yahoo! It actually worked.)

Tell us what you are thinking. (We'll listen, but if it disagrees
with what we've already done or are planning to do, forget it.)

No maintenance. (If it breaks, we can't fix it.)

Low maintenance. (If it breaks, we're not likely able to fix it.)

All new. (None of the parts are interchangeable with the previous design.)

Rugged. (Needs major equipment to lift it.)

Robust. (More than rugged.)

Light weight. (A little less than rugged.)

Fax it to me. (I'm too lazy to write it down.)

[Ozkaban]

oh man, the consulting project I've been assigned to is exactly this...

It'd be funnier, if it didn't make feel like crying!

"We'll have to abandon the entire concept. (The only person who understood the thing just quit.)"
is particularly good.

Cheers,
Dave

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

You missed the one I used to cop all the time:

"It's on on track for this stage." (We're still trying to work out what we're going to do.)

[RETIRED]

You missed the one I used to cop all the time:

"It's on on track for this stage." (We're still trying to work out what we're going to do.)

Right place now Skew.

[bsrlee]

Beats the last big IT project I was involved with - 'They' had 2 guys who knew what was going on, one died of cancer and the other jumped under a train a few weeks later. No one would admit to finding any developement notes so the whole thing was rolled out as 'complete and functional', then senior management just abused the workers if anything didn't work.

[weisyboy]

its funny because its true.

[Studley 2436]

That is funny, I am going to send a copy to my Professor who started teaching me Systems Engineering. He will love it.

Brislee is bang on too about the bit of putting out a bit of junk and then when it doesn't work blaming the workers. We've all heard the line about the C7@p running downhill.

STudley