Your Flatulence Harms The Planet - But Here's How To Clear Your Conscience!!

[Metal Head]

IF you own a cat, you know the smelly truth: they break wind and it's foul. Not only that, it harms the planet.

All forms of flatulence – from cats, dogs, even from Dad – contain methane, a greenhouse gas thought to contribute to climate change.
If you've been feeling guilty about it, help is at hand. For just $8, a Sydney-based company, Easy Being Green, can now make your cat carbon-neutral, so it can "live guilt-free for a year".

Make no mistake, the cat will still smell, and its emissions will still contain methane, but Easy Being Green vows to spend the $8 you give them on products, such as energy saving light bulbs and water-saving shower heads, that reduce emissions elsewhere (if not in your own backyard).

The scheme can be applied to any product, animal or person. For $20, the company made Jenny Cracknell into a "carbon-neutral granny" last year. Her daughter, Emily, gave her a gift certificate to offset two years' worth of flatulence. "I don't like to brag, but I actually don't have much flatulence," Mrs Cracknell said. "But when I do, I feel okay about it, because the damage to the planet has been offset."

Carbon credits, carbon certificates and carbon offsets are serious currency, generating a worldwide income thought to exceed $300 million a year as Westerners panic not about the spread of wealth across the globe, but about their carbon footprints – the impact of their lives on the planet. Easy Being Green's chief executive (and main shareholder) Paul Gilding – formerly head of Greenpeace International – said the system of carbon trades made it possible for ordinary families to do something "about the pressing problem of our time".

Customers agree that it makes them feel good. Take Sally Treeby and her husband, Stephen Dunne, of Balgowlah Heights in Sydney's northern beaches. They have a four-wheel drive, two children – George, 3, and Olivia, 1, both of whom wear disposable nappies – and take three interstate trips annually.

Easy Being Green used a complicated mathematical formula to value the family's "footprint" at $600 a year, so Mr Dunne bought $600 worth of "carbon credits" for his wife for her birthday.

Ms Treeby said: "When the children ask us, what did you do when the planet was warming, we will at least have a decent answer for them. We don't say we are doing enough (although the family also has water tanks and compost). But I have to tell you, it was more gratifying than a new pair of shoes."

But Australian Conservation Foundation climate change campaigner Tony Mohr is sceptical of the scheme. "If people want to help the planet, the very first thing they should do is reduce their emissions. Second, they should buy renewable energy, be more energy efficient. Only after that should you think of offset," he said.

[Lignum]

Metal Head you accidentally posted this in the wrong section. Even though its not that funny it wouldnt it be better of in the Woodies Jokes area.

[Groggy]

I don't think it was intended as a joke, was it?

[DavidG]

Could easily be a scam.

[Ashore]

Could easily be a scam.

Yeah theres something about it that smells

[abitfishy]

This sort of thing isn't uncommon. Theres also a company that plants trees on your behalf to make up for something - cant remember what, I think it might have been to make up for the pollution made by your car. With the world (most of it) becoming so environmentally aware, theres a lot of this that goes on. Pretty sure its not dodgy.

Only thing I want to know is this - they have no idea the amount I fart - I'd have to give them $8 a flamin day!! Add to that the pollution made by my german shepherd, we'd go broke!

[ozwinner]

If you each send me $10 you will feel better about yourselves.

The $10 each is to stop me from farting into the atmosphere, so you, in away are helping the planet.

If you each send me $20 I will not only stop farting, but if I do happen to fart I will bottle it and with a personally signed certificate send the bottled fart to you.
What you do with the bottled fart is your business.

Al, Helping the Planet.

[Daddles]

My dog farts far worse than the cat

Richard

[DavidG]

Ah well I might as well get on the band waggon.....

Send me $20.00 per year and I will plant and maintain a tree for you on my block.
Then you can feel good about yourself by helping to reduce your carbon effect on the planet.....






ps: Joke only

[Metal Head]

Metal Head you accidentally posted this in the wrong section. Even though its not that funny it wouldnt it be better of in the Woodies Jokes area.

No Lignum it's serious . The article was from yesterday's Australian newspaper - here's the proof (via the image attached).

Not a scam as some may think.

[ozwinner]

Must be true then, it was in a newspaper.

Al

[Lignum]

Not a scam as some may think.

Of corse its not a scam.

I thought it was common practice to send money to a company you dont know and get them to buy light bulbs to offset your daily flatulence level and make you feel guilt free.

Infact im going to have 2 helpings of chile con carne tonight and send them $8 tomorrow so i wont feel so bad