The thing I love most about this hot weather is the short skirts and low-
cut tops, although they do make me look a bit gay.

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Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in.
Could only use it for half an hour,
As I started to feel sick.
It's great though; it provides me with everything I need:
Kit-Kats, Mars bars, Snickers, Potato chips, the lot."

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Question - Are there too many immigrants in the UK
17% said yes;
11% said no;
72% said:
"I am not understanding the question please.".

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My girlfriend says she thinks that I might be a stalker.
Well, she's not
Exactly my girlfriend yet.

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I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
Reincarnated but mustcome back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said: "You obviously haven't beenlistening."