Consultants

[Gino]

I think we may have seen this before but I like it so here it is.

Once upon a time, a shepherd was looking after his sheep on the edge of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Lexus SUV screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in a Cerutti suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, Rolex wrist watch, and a Versace tie got out and asked the shepherd, "If I can guess correctly how many sheep you have, will you give me one sheep?"
The shepherd looked at the man, then looked at the grazing sheep and replied, "Okay".

The man parked his SUV, connected his notebook and mobile-fax, entered into NASA website, scanned the ground using his GPS, opened a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms, then printed out a 150 page report on his high tech mini printer. He turned to the shepherd and said , "You have exactly 1586 sheep here".

The shepherd answered , "That's correct, go ahead and pick a sheep."

The man picked one up and put it in the back of his SUV. The shepherd looked at him and asked , "If I can guess your profession correctly, will you return my animal to me?"

The man answered , "Yes, why not?"

The shepherd said , "You are a consultant".

"How did you know?" asked the man.

"Very simple," answered the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew. Third, you don't understand anything about my business.

Now can I have my DOG back?".

[soundman]

I like dogbert's definition of consultant.

CON SULT ANT
CON derived from confidence trickster
SULT derived from insult
ANT a sufex indincating one who does.

Dogbert stated that he liked the concept of a profession that cons & insults people.

???

[Gino]

Good work if you can get it.

g