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2nd March 2005, 02:30 PM #1
Cynic + Faeces Agitator
- Join Date
- Jan 2003
- Location
- Melbourne, Australia
- Age
- 55
- Posts
- 243
- Post Thanks / Like
What people can tell about you ...
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
* 2 litres of low fat milk
* a carton of eggs
* 2 litres of orange juice
* a head of lettuce
* half a dozen tomatoes
* a 500g jar of coffee
* a 250g pack of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly
stated, "You must be single"
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was
Intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to
her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."Great minds discuss ideas,
average minds discuss events,
small minds discuss people
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2nd March 2005, 02:40 PM #2
Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2004
- Location
- Bunbury WA
- Age
- 76
- Posts
- 74
- Post Thanks / Like
Ha ha ha...I love it.
Neil
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonay in one hand - Strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming - "WOO WOO...What a ride" 
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2nd March 2005, 05:02 PM #3
GOLD MEMBER
- Join Date
- May 2003
- Location
- Melbourne, Victoria
- Age
- 50
- Posts
- 641
- Post Thanks / Like
Drunk walks into his bedroom where his wife is asleep with a duck under his arm.
He says, "This is the pig I've been rootin'"
His wife, woken by his staggering in the door, sits up and says, "You idiot, that's a duck".
He says, "I was talkin to the duck".Is there anything easier done than said?- Stacky. The bottom pub, Cobram.
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2nd March 2005, 07:52 PM #4
Registered
- Join Date
- Aug 2003
- Location
- .
- Posts
- 4,816
- Post Thanks / Like
Dave, Dave , Dave, straight to hell for you, do not go past go, do not collect $200.
Al
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2nd March 2005, 07:56 PM #5
evil twin of Gawd
- Join Date
- Nov 2003
- Location
- Beachport, South Oz, the best little town on the planet.
- Age
- 73
- Posts
- 776
- Post Thanks / Like
Ignore Al, his hats too tight, gooood one son,,,, I have already passed it on to me motherinlaw!
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3rd March 2005, 07:40 PM #6
Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2005
- Location
- Kariong, Central Coast, NSW
- Posts
- 4
- Post Thanks / Like
Speaking of Mother-in-Laws... I bought mine a chair for Xmas... she won't plug it in..!
Originally Posted by Christopha
There's always a better way to do things, get someone else to do it for you.!
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