Dads making kids eat....

:ranton:

Why is it that Dads turn into Victorian era fathers at meal times. For some reason when we sit down to dinner HWMBO gets exchanged for that father out of seven little Australians. (You know! That really grumpy general. ) Then he starts going about Small boy not sitting up straight and not eating his dinner, and not eating his crusts, and how people are staving in Africa and stuff. All the same stuff that my dad use to go on about to me and my Brothers. It never worked. :doh: Why do they do it? :club:

I thought someone here might have the answer. (I thought you might have an insider's perspective.:rolleyes: ) Has anyone here used the "there are people starving in Africa" line, and their kid has actually started eating? I keep trying to suggest that going on about meal times is just going to end up giving Small Boy an eating dissorded, but he still just gets all wound up about crusts and forks in the wrong hand. :bigcry:

WHAT AM I TO DOOOOOOOOOOO??????????????????????
:aargh::sad1:


:rantoff:

I reckon its all in the Men's Book of Things a Father Should Do.( Herald & Weekly Times 1942)
I was guilty of it.......but my kids, now in their forties just take the mickey out of it.
I dunno where it comes from, but I've seen the most unlikely "caring" fathers......Mullet...Tatts......3 teeth.....all do it.
There's a book in this one.

And at least its better than toilet fresheners :U

Sounds like my father :U

I didn't turn out to bad, but I have softened my approach with my kids. You are right, it doesn't work at the time, but does sink in over time - not sure that is a good thing though. I like to think I am not as bad as my father, but I know I'm a cranky old b..... and still yell way too much :- Unfortunately, as much as we don't want to turn out like our fathers, we often do.

Have you discussed it with your other half? Does he know he is even doing it, some don't :doh:. Ask what he is trying to achieve, discuss the goal posts, then discuss alternatives. Dont just say he is doing the wrong thing, that doesn't work.

Sorry I don't have any more detailed answers.

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Originally Posted by dai sensei

Have you discussed it with your other half? Does he know he is even doing it, some don't :doh:. Ask what he is trying to achieve, discuss the goal posts, then discuss alternatives. Dont just say he is doing the wrong thing, that doesn't work.

Sorry I don't have any more detailed answers.

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Well yes. We have discussed it. He even agrees with me to a certain extent.:oo: But then does it again. :doh: He just seems to stress out more than me. I just think you need to demons-straight what you want him to do. That's what happens anyway. But just learns to be grumpy at meal times and stress out.

Tea Lady my kids learn't all about the starving ethiopians if they didn't eat :B,now the grand kids drive me batty when they turn there nose up at stews fritters, puddings i tell em i would like to sit them beside some ethiopian kids at meal time:D the rules at the table when i was a child were if you take it you eat it ,too bad if your eyes were bigger then your belly and no desert if you didn't eat your first course ,:U though Mum used to relent often .Lloyd:D

We didn't do the Ethiopian routine at all, we just had the rule that absolutely no one left the table until the last one finished eating. We used to call the youngest lightning on account of how slow she was, but these days at 19 she eats everything and at about the same pace. Far better than the days when you finished a third of the way into her eating time.

Mind you last Christmas she confessed that she had perfected the art of slipping food to the dog as a six year old.

Primeval instinct, fear of social disapproval. Manners show one is from same tribe. Mollydookers can have a hard time of it. It must be short sentence night :)

My father did it . i did it and i hope my daughter does it as well.

it is part of teaching kids to eat everything on their plate and not be fussy.

I am very proud of the fact that when we go to someones place they eat whatever is dished up and never leave anything. Also they dont ask for certain thngs to be left off.

I have a lot of my kids freinds come here, when you ask them if they want to stay for tea they either leave half of the meal on their plate or when you are dishing it up they say i dont have peas, carrots, pumpkin or something like that.

it is only by making/teaching them to eat the lot that they learn that whatever is dished up to them should be eaten and appreciated.

maybe try the other angle of attack and dont let "the boy" eat anything for at least an hour before meals and also dish up meals at an early time before they he gets tired and cant concentrate on his meal.

i had a freind (in Berrigan) that used to dish up tea when the kids got off the bus at 4.30 and they always ate all of it and then they were allowed to eat whatever they wanted afterwards - worked for them and they never had any problem getting them to eat it all up.

It is part of teaching kids manners and respect. something that has been totally lacking of late in todays youth.

my rant off:rantoff:

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Originally Posted by Calm

My father did it . i did it and i hope my daughter does it as well.

it is part of teaching kids to eat everything on their plate and not be fussy.

I am very proud of the fact that when we go to someones place they eat whatever is dished up and never leave anything. Also they dont ask for certain thngs to be left off.

I have a lot of my kids freinds come here, when you ask them if they want to stay for tea they either leave half of the meal on their plate or when you are dishing it up they say i dont have peas, carrots, pumpkin or something like that.

it is only by making/teaching them to eat the lot that they learn that whatever is dished up to them should be eaten and appreciated.

maybe try the other angle of attack and dont let "the boy" eat anything for at least an hour before meals and also dish up meals at an early time before they he gets tired and cant concentrate on his meal.

i had a freind (in Berrigan) that used to dish up tea when the kids got off the bus at 4.30 and they always ate all of it and then they were allowed to eat whatever they wanted afterwards - worked for them and they never had any problem getting them to eat it all up.

It is part of teaching kids manners and respect. something that has been totally lacking of late in todays youth.

my rant off:rantoff:

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Here Here

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Originally Posted by tea lady

Why is it that Dads turn into Victorian era fathers at meal times. For some reason when we sit down to dinner HWMBO gets exchanged for that father out of seven little Australians. (You know! That really grumpy general. )

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Sounds all too much like me with my 3yr old, I've gotta change my ways :( . I think it's that Dad's don't have the patience that Mum's do.

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Originally Posted by tea lady

:ranton:

Why is it that Dads turn into Victorian era fathers at meal times. For some reason when we sit down to dinner HWMBO gets exchanged for that father out of seven little Australians. (You know! That really grumpy general. ) Then he starts going about Small boy not sitting up straight and not eating his dinner, and not eating his crusts, and how people are staving in Africa and stuff. All the same stuff that my dad use to go on about to me and my Brothers. It never worked. :doh: Why do they do it? :club:

I thought someone here might have the answer. (I thought you might have an insider's perspective.:rolleyes: ) Has anyone here used the "there are people starving in Africa" line, and their kid has actually started eating? I keep trying to suggest that going on about meal times is just going to end up giving Small Boy an eating dissorded, but he still just gets all wound up about crusts and forks in the wrong hand. :bigcry:

WHAT AM I TO DOOOOOOOOOOO??????????????????????
:aargh::sad1:


:rantoff:

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take a deep breath and RELAX
I haven't done the starving Biafrians yet, but a few times I've moved the plate out of reach and waited for the undesired behaviour to cease


as to fork in "wrong hand" define "right hand"
my niece is right handed but eats left handed on account of mirroring her mother as a small child
as long as the food goes down the throat and stays in the tummy, who cares which hand they use?

but posture is more important than you think
about the only times a kid sits at a table is to eat and at school
poor posture will translate into poor pen holding and then difficulty with writing


but what would I know — most days I'm the "best dad in the world"



ian

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Originally Posted by Waldo

I think it's that Dad's don't have the patience that Mum's do.

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No, it's left up to fathers to do, either because the mothers don't have a clue or they would rather take the easy option and not have to deal with it and the usual repercussions from ever-mouthy offspring.

My father did it, I did it and my son currently does it. We all kicked against the pricks at the time, but have grown to recognise the value of our fathers' words and that they cared enough to instil some moral decorum in us.

I ranted at my kids too, but my then Missus didn't agree.One kid cleaned the plate, but the other was an extremely fussy eater.Now she eats anything put in front of her.

A good put down that I heard once when a kid was being told about the starving Ethiopians was "Oh yeah, then name one!!" :doh::doh:

Woodwould has it right. Teach them some manners, some respect for the work that has gone into the dinner, and respect for the right of other diners (ie, DAD!) to eat a meal in relatively civilised circumstances.

Stop taking the soft way out, and you'll build better children.

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Originally Posted by Ron Dunn

Teach them some manners, some respect for the work that has gone into the dinner, and respect for the right of other diners

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oh no, I think I'm turning into my dad too,:doh:
my approach when mine were younger (4-7) was to turn it into a game, one night we'd pretend we were invited to dinner at brittney spears house (my 7 year old daughters fav at the time) that made her sit up straight and chew with her mouth closed.
other times we pretended we were eating with (....insert name of footy team my son didn't like...) and he ate like an animal. :D they got the idea...

oh yeah, every now and then invite their friends for a feeding frenzy, cook up a huge pot of spaghetti and sauce, pour it on a (clean) plastic covered table outside, then they eat it with their hands behind their back. then hose em all down, great fun.
next time invite their friends for a formal dinner.
peer groups can be used for good as well as evil :q

underfoot, the spaghetti mess is a GREAT idea :) My daughter would love it.

I would NEVER use the spaghetti idea with my kids.
.
.
.
.
....but for the grand child, at the daughter's place....great idea.:D

As for forcing kids to eat stuff they don't like, what's the point? By rejecting stuff like pumpkin and cabbage, they are showing good taste. Pumpkin should only ever be fed to cattle, and cabbage is best used as compost.

I am a dinner table Nazi.

My son likes to sit half a mile back from the table and drop food all over the floor, so every night I get up him about it. "Pull your chair right in, hold your mouth over your plate when you eat so if you drop anything, it goes on the plate and not on the floor". He's starting to get the idea now, but only after years of badgering him about it.

Tee-hee-he. Lots of good advice here. I'll just stress out less about his stressing out. Seems it hasn't done you lot any harm.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

T.L.,
There's nothing more pleasant than sharing a table with diners with at least SOME table manners, and nothing less enjoyable than sharing with those with no manners.
I'm an old fuddy-duddy when it comes to table manners.:no::no:

Tried the starving kids thing in Africa with the seven year old. At the end of the unfinished meal, he went and got an envelope and suggested that I could always post it to them.

Do you think any court in the world would have convicted me if I had done my first reaction which was to, {Quote from my mother "i'll knock you into the middle of next week"}, or just laugh?? Which is what we all did.

He loves his vegies especially raw if he can pick them himself but won't touch them if they are cooked!

Will try Underfoots spag bol suggestion, but will wait until summer too cold to try to hose them off.

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Originally Posted by Calm

My father did it . i did it and i hope my daughter does it as well.

it is part of teaching kids to eat everything on their plate and not be fussy.

I am very proud of the fact that when we go to someones place they eat whatever is dished up and never leave anything. Also they dont ask for certain thngs to be left off.

I have a lot of my kids freinds come here, when you ask them if they want to stay for tea they either leave half of the meal on their plate or when you are dishing it up they say i dont have peas, carrots, pumpkin or something like that.

it is only by making/teaching them to eat the lot that they learn that whatever is dished up to them should be eaten and appreciated.

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Generally, the correct amount to eat is "enough." I don't excuse picky eaters, the meal served should be well-balanced and enough for the person's needs.

If too much is served, it's a waste. If too much is eaten, it's worse, it goes to waist.

If visiting friends, "It was very nice, thank you, but I really cannot eat any more."

If course, it follows if main was too much, there desert is not possible.


ps
If "the kids in Ethiopia are starving, send them the rest of the meal."

A friend of mine has kids who won't eat vegetables, especially if they are green
He finally got his kids to eat their greens by telling them it was Shrek food!

I have to confess I was a "eat what's put in front of you "nazi. The biggest test was brussell sprouts. Kids got their own back one day. We had a goat which we used for clearing the blackberry. One day it escaped from it's tether and made straight for the veggie garden. More than that, it loved brussell sprouts. I had to admit seeing the funny side as the kids cheered the goat on. Made me think a bit.
As for table manners and eating what's put in front of you, one of my son in law's was a great example. My wife is a great cook and loves good fresh vegetables. Prospective son in law came to dinner and ate all before him. Wife hates anyone going hungry and offered more generous helpings, which he ate. This went on for a few times before my daughter took mum aside and said boy friend hates carrots but was too polite to say so.

Jerry

My eldest brother was visiting and ate with us - he noticed I would not mix together the different items on my plate and he couldn't resist the urge to "have a go" at me (verbally). I got up and threatened to put his dessert on the main course plate in front of him. Double standards are a curse, aren't they?:?:q:q

soth

Jerry, your S-I-L is obviously a gentleman!!:)
My only experience of this was, as a schoolboy, staying at a friend's house and being offered a "real treat", lambs fry and bacon for breakfast.I can't stand liver, but, being aware of my manners (?!) I knew I had to eat it.I had to slice it into minute pieces and swallow it whole, as chewing it made me gag.:o
I now tell my host and hostess is I don't eat something rather than embarrass us both, but I've got a bit of age on my side now!:2tsup:

I always eat all my crusts and I have grey air and it is mostly straight.:no::no::no: so the advice was BS when i was a kid and I did as my nanna said.



Regards Mike:2tsup:

I love this thread, makes me laugh and brings back memories

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Originally Posted by Calm

... part of teaching kids to eat everything on their plate and not be fussy

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:U My ol man's saying was "sit up, shut up, and eat up"

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Originally Posted by silentC

My son likes to sit half a mile back from the table and drop food all over the floor

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I remember trying that as a kid, it didn't work, the ol man still made me eat it off the floor :o:U

I'd do that too but it would deprive poor old Jack of a meal :)

I know one DH (well I have met him a few times) who will not eat vegies at all except pizza?. I wish his dad had forced him to eat everything.
My wife told me they had a fellow at the hospital who was looking at having both his legs removed because off bad diet. He said he had never eaten vegetables and wasn't going to start now. Their parents get a fail. There is a lot more at stake than manners.

I used to say to my son '' there are people in Africa starving "

then one day he said ''well give it to them then.''.

He's normal now. LOL

Cheers Fred

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Originally Posted by MICKYG

I always eat all my crusts and I have grey air and it is mostly straight.:no::no::no: so the advice was BS when i was a kid and I did as my nanna said.



Regards Mike:2tsup:

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Au contraire

I ate all my crusts, and now I have a fine crop of hair:B. While not curly, it has a wave that women pay a fortune to have. Probably, they'd also spend another fortune to change its colour, but I'm happy with grey.

The advice seems okay to me.:;

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Originally Posted by glenn k

I know one DH (well I have met him a few times) who will not eat vegies at all except pizza?. I wish his dad had forced him to eat everything.
My wife told me they had a fellow at the hospital who was looking at having both his legs removed because off bad diet. He said he had never eaten vegetables and wasn't going to start now. Their parents get a fail. There is a lot more at stake than manners.

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I was in hospital a while ago, and one o the others in the ward was a fellow from Jigalong.

The only thing I know of that he ate was oranges, he had plenty of oranges because we all gave him ours.

I don't think he had a shower either. I think his command of English was pretty limited.

Get your google maps out and look up Jigalong.

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Originally Posted by Johncs

I was in hospital a while ago, and one o the others in the ward was a fellow from Jigalong.

.

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It was pretty much a case of stoneage man meets 21st century. It would have been pretty strange for him.

Is your husband a victorian , if he is it could answer a lot of you questions ( NSW blokes are far better attuned to whats real in this modern world ) :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by tea lady

Tee-hee-he. Lots of good advice here. I'll just stress out less about his stressing out. Seems it hasn't done you lot any harm.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

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Oh yeah!! Look at us poor old buggers_ depression, paranoia, guilt, heart problems, nightmares and bad dreams, and probably the odd heavy drinker.:D:D:D:D

Yeah, Artie, but we're OLD buggers.Everything wears out, but it always takes longer if the things are properly maintained, and, in our cases, that means an omnivirous diet...fruit, veggies and a bit of meat.
AND, a balanced diet does not mean a pie in each hand!!
Kids of today generally get less exercise, more crap food and less discipline than we "old buggers", and I worry about their future,and, therefore, mine.
Make them "sit up straight, elbows by your sides, don't wave your cutlery about, close your mouth when you chew,don't mash your food, don't put so much in your mouth,don't slurp your soup, don't talk with your mouth full ,eat your vegetables, and don't answer back!!":no::no:
Remember that??:2tsup:

Oh, and what's wrong with a drink or two???:D:D:D

I used to tell my kids "If you don't eat it now it will be there in the morning and you can have it with milk and sugar for breakfast" even worked a couple of times:U

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Originally Posted by bille

I used to tell my kids "If you don't eat it now it will be there in the morning and you can have it with milk and sugar for breakfast" even worked a couple of times:U

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I have done this a few times ie make them eat it for breakfast; except I don't let them have sugar on their breakfast.