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What the hell - lets see what happens.
It was a dark and stormy night. The rain bucketed down, beating a steady tattoo on the corro roof. Inside the shed the white glare of flouresent lighting flashed back at him from the polished blades of the tools.
Sweating despite the chill he......
opened a bottle of port and threw another log in the fire and then.....
there was a knock at the door. Opening the door...
... two gorgeous, incredibly sexy women, one of whom said, "Hi, my name is Beryl, this is my twin sister Cheryl, we're feeling a little feral, would you like to.......
do us a good turn?? We really need....
....come inside take off all our wet clothes, and stand in front of the fire in order to dry our....
hair?" ;)
"Come on in" he said "Allow me to .....
a brass ferrel, for the end of my tool
handle.
I don't want it to split when I use it for.........
stirring my special potions for the benefit of all mankind and.......
brass ferrules for tools that are used.................
... and abused by the sexually confused for the......
woodturning gratification and ............
nice gifts for swambo and further to that.....
... they had better be just what she wants because Beryl can be a little frightening." Having said that he flourished his ferrule and flung it at......
...what are two, georgeous, sexy, feral ladies (Hah) like you doing here anyway?
Would you like me to......(Lets get back to the main plot fellas.):rolleyes:
... help you?"
"Oh yes" the feral ladies replied in unison
"We've come to you're workshop in the hope you could give us a screw"
After the enevitable double take Merv asked " To what use would you put this screw? Tell me so I can determine the type of screw you need"
"Well" Cheryl breathed " we need ....
... binomial bubble chip smorched by the bloke with the double overhead underhang 3 phase whacker"
"Bloody hell" Merv exclaimed "This will call for my new....
(consider it copped :))
Which explains why our hair is all messed up, now if you could give us a screw or two so we can completely dovetail our tails we will.......
get our beloved gronicle stretcher untensioned as it seems a bit uptight at the moment."
Beryl gestured, "Do you have one of those large, thick .....
thwacking-stick things that you use for........
...sharp pointy leaves, and we don't like getting pricked in the....
middle of the night while...............
watching the double episode of st nits while......
stroking a long, thick....
sausage shaped.....:D
balloon, that we use to create............
words in while making cartoons of.............
two gorgeous, incredibly sexy women,that have been known to.............
offcut reject from the last failed attempt to produce something useful...
dammit - that had nothing to do with the thread I was trying to post to!
And with that little Johnno ran to his room in a state of shame and humiliation, slammed the door, threw himself on his bed, burried his head in his pillow and cried himself to sleep.http://www.smilies-world.de/Smilies/...lein_1/fie.gif
The next morning there was a knock at his door. "Johnno, oh little Johnno" came a sweet voice "Johnno can we please come in and.......
as he sprung to open the door he realised the floor had disappeared and......
been replaced by a pile of sawdust. "Bloody termites", he muttered. If I had my way .....
I'd.....ooooooooh look the ceilings gone geez those termites are quick ..he then went and found.......................
... that some lovely chap had left him a huge bunch of pansies, "Goodness gracious me" he lisped, grasped the huge bunch firmly in his delicate hands and minced off to......
wild bees, intent on deflowering his posie of pansies. With the bees in hot persuit he ran screaming down the street holding the flowers high and yelling..........
.... Help, Help, if I can't stop these bloody B's I'll be deflowered and who would marry me then? With that a passer-by seeing our hero's plight......
(What happened to those maidens who started all this?)
called the 2 maidens on his highly secret mobile steering wheel and asked..........................
(that answer your question John?)
...the policeman who pulled him over for useing his moblie while driving to go easy on him as he only........
block to run before he was safe from the bees and in the arms of the two maidens were going to give him..............