Printable View
Something easy and a bit of fun.
- Read the quote(s)... enjoy, laugh, be shocked, saddened, uplifted, etc.
- Then post an new one.
- Can be of your own making, famous quote, from a T-Shirt or sign, who cares.
- Can be funny, inspirational, uplifting, sad, grose, whatever you want.
- Just keep it clean
_________________
I'll go first. Feel free to follow up with more.
FROM MY FAVORITE T-SHIRT
EAT WELL
STAY FIT
DIE ANYWAY
:o
FROM MY 2ND FAVORITE T-SHIRT
I AM NOT
IGNORING YOU
I'M JUST NOT
LISTENING
FROM A T-SHIRT NOW GONE TO GOD
I NEVER DREAMED
THAT ONE DAY
I'D BECOME A
GRUMPY
OLD MAN
BUT HERE I AM
KILLING IT!
Feel free to follow up with your own.
FROM ANOTHER T-SHIRT (not mine but clever)
THE DEVIL
SAW ME
WITH MY
HEAD DOWN
AND
THOUGHT
HE'D WON
UNTIL I SAID
AMEN
Growing old is mandatory... Growing up isn't.
Help! I'm a 21 year old trapped in a 75 year old body. :C
C'mon folks don't be scared, have a go! :scareboo:
Clever reply to "Go to Hell"
I can't go to Hell.
The devil still has a
restraining order against me.
:firedevil:
Bit of blatant advertising... Sorry, just couldn't help myself.
From About Us page on our U-Beaut Polishes shop
https://shop.ubeaut.com.au/wp-conten.../HOMEGREEN.jpg
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.
Don't take life to seriously
Nobody gets out of it alive anyway
I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go
I keep on singing all day long
I owe, I owe, I owe, I owe....
Using all these bullets at once :)
The Quotes of Steven Wright:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Life is pain princess, anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something. Princess Bride
Everything ends badly, that's why it ends. Name that movie
Murphy was an optimist
Tree more from Princess bride. A movie everyone should see at least once before they die.
________________________
As you wish
He's been mostly dead all day.
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
This is Bob.
Bob has no arms.
Attachment 537788
"Knock knock"
"Who's there"
......Not Bob
Your biggest supporter is a total stranger, your worst enemy is someone you know.
There is not plenty of time in life, only enough time, and almost no time at all.
We all have a ticket to the terminal, it’s just that some have the arrival time stamped on it.
A good friend will bail you out of Gaol
Your best friend will be in there with you saying...
"Man, what a rush!!!"
A couple or so from Winston Churchill
I may be drunk, Madam, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea." Churchill: "Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."
"The British Constitution is mainly British common sense."
There's shipload more from him. Some funny, some thought provoking, some downright insulting, all worth a look.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous
From me, full of drugs, pain killers, bandages 'n' agony, to Pauline (wife), the morning after inadvertently setting fire to my legs hand and hair at work some 20+ years ago.
"Geez... I got really fired up yesterday, didn't I."
Pauline (the real boss): "You're fired!"
Both on our fridge:
Lifes short. Eat desert first.
For those who read music.
Life without music wouldBAttachment 537814
For those who
don't read music
Attachment 537816= Flat
'There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.’ – Oscar Wilde
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
Mark Twain
When I was 17 I was the stupid one... joined the army in the middle of a war.
My father, on the other hand, was a mathematical genius he could add up and 10 columns and 30 lines of numbers in his head faster than you could do the first column on a calculator. and he was never wrong.
However being a genius doesn't necessarily make you wise.
nemo mortalium omnibus horis sapit
Motto: Royal Antediluvian Order of Buffalos
I love a good T-shirt or two. Here's one. I wouldn't buy because no one would ever read it to the last line.
Attachment 537894
Straight out of the dictionary... NOT!
Attachment 537930