Trans Siberian Adventure

Its time to say goobye, said Moriarty to his wonderful hosts.
He and Miss Marple had been to the other end of the earth for a wedding.
This is one wedding they wont forget in a hurry.

After all the formalitys of hugs and kisses were over.
Miss Marple said, well Moriarty time to board the train.
As they boarded the Trans Siberian Express Miss Marple wondered what adventures lay ahead for the two of them?:confused:
Moriarty wondered if he would get lucky with Miss Marple?:rolleyes:

With that, the train lurched into action, the two of them now seated in their cabin wondered what would happen on the journey...........................................



Over to youse lot, without The Rip characters.

Al :)

......Humphrey Hamster stamped his foot in anger as he left the story...........Mumbling about sending MF here............

Would life imitate art they thought, because surely this thread, if it went the way of most others, would be considered art in the fullness of time.

And they would have plenty of that, (time) as the next 10,000 miles of their journey unfolded.

10,000 miles without an internet connection.

The whistle blew, and the iron horse lurched forward, then stopped just as suddenly as it had moved....

because of a flat tyre. The train was one of the new fangled ...

As soon as Tiers are Us, had fixed the flat tyre they were on their way again.......

The train had barely begun to move when Miss Marples noticed a pair of flying insects in their cabin.

So tiny, they could barely be seen, but even with her naked eye (that's the only naked bit so far in the story) she could see that they were well tanned...

They looked strangely out of place so far inland, clearly these were coastal insects!

Of course being Well Tanned they were from Vietnam, but how did the come to be on this train, hmmmmmm...........................

Alas, that's what happens when you let a Crapatorium Proprietor get involved in Taxonomy, your common garden variety Vietnamese Midges get mixed up with the much more rarified Sunny Coast variety!

Still the question was valid, and they were hoping that the shortage of Vodka on board would mean that all the stocks of Russian insect repellant on the train would be put to good use livening up the sadly unfermented orange juice, and for the time being they would be safe.

But no, the train driver had different ideas.

Swiftly he lept from the engine, grabbed some Wodka, and lept back onto the train just outside Moriartys door.
Moriarty left Miss Marple to see what all the fuss was about.......

Owwh.......... come on Moriarty said Miss Marple whats the delay?

Just then, two very large Chinese gentlemen stepped from the next cabin to see what all the fuss was about.............

Moriarty had seen one of them before.

In fact, he'd seen both of them before. He gasped as he realised they were identical in every respect. He couldn't get over the skill they exhibited as they rode their rocking horses down the narrow corridor and through the tiny access into his cabin.

He seemed puzzled. He couldn't place their hideous faces....

Where they were promptly put to the Mortein treatment by a travelling wayward monk of Canadian persuasion....

... Canadian persuasion, of course, is rarely subtle.

The Mortein treatment was administered with the end of the monk's tree-felling axe.

However, these identical Chinese, rocking horse-mounted twins were made of stern stuff (actually they had been carved from the transom of a vessel with which some of us are very familiar - however, we'll abide by the rules and let than one well alone....)

Were they transom estites??...........................pondered Miss Marple??

Little did she know, that the Wongo sisters had been banished from the Factory-That-Builds-All-Things because of their strident support for transom-estitism.

But that still didn't answer the question.....

Why were these identical scum-sucking-little-bastards following her with such gay abandon?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bitingmidge

Factory-That-Builds-All-Things

---

Waaaaay toooo much time on your hands!!!!

Get on with the packing!!!!

of where Sherlock was.
Because it's clear that if your name is Moriarty, then your arch nemesis can't be far behind.

Perhaps Sherlock, in a particularly cunning disguise, was the Wongo twins?

With a screech...

The train came to a halt for refreshments at the...............

Targus Restaurant under the management of Dr Who...........

Yes!

Dr Whovargo the well know provider of refreshments, speciallizing in tea.
And all things Eastern..............

.. and who as it turned out had just completed a batch of his famous blue peanut brittle....

Miss Marple secretes some of this peanut brittle on her person for use at a later date.

What has Miss Marple forseen to do such a thing? ............................

Could it be that she has realised the The Trans Siberian Express doesn't have a dining car?

Ok boys and girls. The rules with this one.

No seaman, no bodily parts unless correctly named and not vernacular, no reference to any sexual practises (deviate or otherwise) and no using ***** or other susbstitutes.

Lets see if you can write a literary masterpiece using the Queens English. This should be a real challenge!! :D :D :D

or does miss Marple have a mouse in her pocket, to be fed at a later date, or is this mouse realy a gerbil disguised as a mouse. She must contact Richard to find out.......








Thought for the day

Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% ; percentage of Japan that is forest is greater than 70 %

She was about to scratch her head, but had read 's post above, and although she was self educated, she had read extensively on human biology and realised that her head was in fact slang for a body part.

Slowly she drew her manicured nail across the top of her cranium, peering out the window she noticed in the twilight sky a row of stars (*****) she'd never seen before, five of them.

Perhaps they were a portent of things <STRIKE>to come</STRIKE> yet to unfold as the days wore on.

It was as if on another thread, the fabric of the universe had been torn asunder. As her mind began to drift towards thoughts of what that may mean, the mouse stirred...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by

Ok boys and girls. The rules with this one.

No seaman, no bodily parts unless correctly named and not vernacular, no reference to any sexual practises (deviate or otherwise) and no using ***** or other susbstitutes.

Lets see if you can write a literary masterpiece using the Queens English. This should be a real challenge!! :D :D :D

---

!!
What else would you expect from Miss Marple and Moriarty?? :confused:

Al

She said.

And at that moment she heard a tapping sound coming from under the floor of her compartment.

A small hatch opened and a man's head emerged from within. Excuse me, can you tell me if this The Red Lion in Portobello Road? I've been crawling around in these sewers for days and.... my goodness, is that peanut brittle you have secreted about your person? I have a very acute sense of smell and I can also tell that you have recently been to the marriage of a short, fat, balding man to a tall, thin woman with prominent teeth. Yes, it is I, none other than the famous...

...detective, Bluey Anstruther."

"I don't think I've heard of you," said Miss Marple. "What did you say your name is?"

"Bluey Anstruther! Strewth, ya must have heard of me! I've solved cases from Coober Pedy all the way to Catherine!"

So why are on this train Mr Anstruther?

"I've been commissioned to track down a couple of insects who have escaped from the land of Oz, and have reason to believe they are travelling round these parts" he replied.

His breath was heavy in the air, tinged with a merest hint of amber fluid which had been his staple since leaving home, although it was almost completely masked by the heavily minted peanut brittle he'd picked up in Estonia.

Miss Marples was nonplussed, she wondered aloud ....

Are you married Mr Anstruther??............

"Is this gentleman, by any chance, Australian?"

Bluey was quick to confirm his true-blueness:

"My oath, missus!" he exclaimed. In fact he expostulated, he proclaimed, he gave vent to pent-up emotions, so passionately did he feel. "I'm as Australian as, .... as ..... as anything! That's how Australian I am! I'm so Australian that ..."

The little old lady pommie detective interjected:-

Are you married Mr Anstruther??............
<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

"Jeez!" said Bluey. "There's no need to shout! No, not me. I've always thought that a detective needs to be free to move at the drop of a .... the drop of a ..." He clicked his fingers. "What's the word?"

"Hat?" suggested Miss Marple.

"That's ...."

right hat!!

I came here to look for an Oriental with a big hat, the hat contains................

besides his head , a hat band with a secret compartment containing ........







Thought for the day

Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% ; percentage of Japan that is forest is greater than 70 %

2005 separate pancake recipes