Trans Siberian Adventure

the ejector seat cartridges under her seat exploded, and Ms M joined Mr M in the stratosphere. "Damm!!!" said Ms M, and then...............

just when you thought the "story" couldn't get any sillier, it did. Because....

... as Mr M's parachute deployed and he began a gentle descent earthwards, Ms M landed in his lap. He was not only startled but also puzzled.

"I'm not only startled but also puzzled," he said (to no-one's great surprise). "Why on earth ...."

"We're not on the Earth, technically Mr M. More to the point, is that a gun in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?"

"It's not a gun it's...

... a Bavarian Weissporkerschwarben sausage that I've been saving for a special occasion!"

Well," said Ms M. "I find it hard to imagine a more special occasion than this. Whip it out, laddie and let's have a slice!"

With that....

...they came to a stop with a sickening thud. "I was expecting that to happen, but not so soon - I'd have thought it would take much longer to fall from the stratosphere, which is, after all, rather a long way up" said Mr M.

"We haven't hit the ground, you silly man, " said Miss M. "we've landed on ...

the space shuttle, and we are about to make re-entry, I hope your hat is fire proof??

Mr M immediately clapped his hand across his (Bavarian) sausage. With a swift appraising glance, he took in their situation. It wasn't real good. They were poised on the top of the Shuttle, just fo'rard of the tailplane structure.

He realised that there wasn't a great deal they could do to improve things. He took a bite out of his sausage and offered the rest to Ms M...

.. who took it and stared at it. Slapping her head, she exclaimed "of course"!!

"Mmmff what, Miff M.?" asked Mr M.

"Of course, how silly of me. Remember when I was a counter agent during the war? They taught us all of the secrets of espionage, and one of the tricks was how to make explosives from Bavarian Weissporkerschwarben sausage. If I do this, and then this, and then twist this bit like that. There! Now we can blow open the cargo bay doors and...

... there was a tearing sound. The Rip parted and who should materialise alongside the geriatric adventurers? None other than everyone's favourite pommy agent masquerading as a French gendarme: Crabtree.

"Good moaning!" he said. "Beffure yew utilose thit soosage to blee open the curgo boo dears, you should know thit...."

.. a gude frond of moon had a greet dole of trible with some pod bay doors foor or so yars agoo... maybe you shood tree nicking on the woondow?

"What on earth is this idiot saying?" said Mr M.

"Well,' said Ms M. "He seems to be attempting to communicate with us in extremely poor French, for reasons I can't explain."

"Oh!" said the Captoon. "You're English! That's a relief..."

Why it was a relief didn't become apparent because, as the words left his lips, Crabtree rather rashly let go of the bit of the Shuttle to which he had been clinging. He was instantly swept off the fuselage and into the heavyweight glider's slipstream.

"Oh!" said Ms M. "That's ...."

But no one answered, so they went round to the back door, and found the fly wire door ajar....................

Which to our two detectives was very mysterious. So they ............

set up their deck chairs as the weather in Florida didnt suit a landing today.

The intrepid detectives will have to wait until all the baggy skins in Florida had their deck chairs set at the right angle for viewing.

Mean while, back on the plane......................